Should I have just said...

[Kel9]

This is something I didn’t thing much about.. but this month my period was late... mainly because I’ve just come off the pill. My cycle was 43 days without a period. Which I know can be normal.

My partner was working away last week and I did panic slightly and wondered if I was pregnant.

This consumed me all week and I eventually did a test which was negative. I felt relieved 😅

Last night chatting away to my oh and I mentioned I did a test... he wasn’t happy. He couldn’t believe I had done a test and not told him, he was right of course. I just didn’t want to bother him when he was working away and I wasn’t ready to even thing that we could of been having a baby,

I feel rotten for not telling him and I don’t know why I withheld this... I suppose I didn’t think it over too much!!

Is there something you’ve not shared with your oh not thinking it was a big deal but boy were you wrong..., 🙃

[NotaCoolMum]

I did a test in the loo on my lunch break!! My (now ex) came home and I told him then! Lots of women surprise their partners with a positive! Are you TTC? X

[Sassypants82]

What? I really can't understand the problem. Did he expect tahr you would have waited until he was there to test?

I've been pregnant 4 times and each time I tested when it was convenient for me. I told my husband soon after.

I have done countless tests while TTC tagt were negative that I didn't mention..

[ShebaShimmyShake]

I don't see the problem. I've done the same, test was negative so nothing to tell. I didn't see the point in worrying him before I even knew if there was an issue.

[PlateTectonics]

I don't think you've done anything wrong here OP.

[IncludeWomenInTheSequel]

I did a number of tests over about 3 or 4 days before I told my husband anything. The line was so faint that I just wanted to keep it to myself until I was sure.

[MJMG2015]

Ask him if he needs to know when you start your period, when you have a poo, when you yawn. It's YOUR body. FFS

[Sakurami]

Well I have 4 kids and always tested first and then if positive, I've shown the test.

[Kel9]

I’m not trying to conceive just thought as I was late I’d make sure before I started to have a melt down 🙈

I don’t think it’s a big deal either god knows I would have said if we were pregnant lol but I was in Asda bogs during work time and just took the moment to get it over with.

Plus he was working there was no need to stir up a fuss over nothing 🤷‍♀️

[Dery]

"Last night chatting away to my oh and I mentioned I did a test... he wasn’t happy. He couldn’t believe I had done a test and not told him, he was right of course."

Like PP, I don't really see the problem here. If you had been TTC then I suppose I can see why he might have wanted to be party to the fact that a test was happening and what the result would be, but I don't quite get what was bothering him here.

I'm struck that you say "he was right of course". It may be that he would have appreciated knowing but I don't think you're wrong for not guessing that. I have periodically tested when my period was late (and when not TTC) and haven't discussed it with DH. From your "he was right of course" comment, it sounds a bit as if you are used to being made to feel wrong about things.

[Aerial2020]

What is he cross about? That you took a test without him there?

Why did he need to be there?

[category12]

He's being weird.

Perfectly normal to just take a test if you have doubts and there's no need to run it past your partner beforehand.

[Kel9]

It gets better... apparently he sees me in a different light!!! Wtf he’s brought it up again tonight

[FippertyGibbett]

You did a test so you could relax and not worry.
It was negative so I’m not sure what he’s getting uptight about.

[Fidgety31]

He may think you are trying to get pregnant . Guess that’s what he means when he says he sees you in a different light now

[pog100]

Well tell him you are seeing him in a different light, as a weirdly controlling fucking idiot.

[user165423256322]

Well tell him you are seeing him in a different light, as a weirdly controlling fucking idiot.

My thought too.

[Mammyloveswine]

You've done nothing wrong at all op!

I told my friend before my husband about ds1 as confused in her that I suspected I was pregnant and she brought me the test!

[Mammyloveswine]

Confided in her... not confused!

[Aerial2020]

Different light? What does that mean?
That you have your own choices with your body or that you don't tell him every single thing to with your body??

[Bunnymumy]

Controlling alert.

Wtf should you have to tell him anything anyway? Unless its positive it's really none of his buisness.

[SoulofanAggron]

I’m not trying to conceive just thought as I was late I’d make sure before I started to have a melt down

What are you doing for contraception? Don't say the pull out method, please. What are your plans for contraception in future? He sounds stroppy, so I wouldn't advise having his baby.
-
You can communicate in whatever way you like. My ex tried to dictate how open I was and whether I communicated in person or by messenger etc (easier for me sometimes as I'm not very assertive.) I plan not to let a bloke try to dictate this again. They either live with how I feel best able to communicate, or they can fuck off.

By saying it's changed how he sees you, he's trying to manipulate you into behaving in the way he wants.

[itsallaloadofshite]

So would he have expected to watch you pee on the pregnancy test? My DP has never watched me take a test or known about most of them and there's been a lot.
He's being really strange imo, why is he still fixated on it? Is his life rather boring? So if you was pregnant and surprised him would he of had a full meltdown because he wasn't there to watch you take the test?

[Kel9]

No I made it clear I don’t want any more children. I already have one and don’t want any more. I think he was pissed because we tell each other most things. To me I genuinely never thought about it just fine it no big deal!

[Kel9]

I’m just off the pill as I bled all the way through it so came off it end of July. We had unprotected sex which just happened. My body can’t handle hormones so I think I’m going to try the copper coil

[ShebaShimmyShake]

Ok, the fact that he's obsessing over this is weird. Does he have issues with the fact that as a woman, there are just some things he isn't going to know unless you tell him?