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Not sure if I'm being paronoid

(4 Posts)
sunoiuy Sun 13-Sep-20 22:26:12

Is this crazy
I’m thinking of ending things with dp
We have been on and off for longer than we should’ve been.
Mostly because of his reluctance to commit because i think he found it hard to move forward from his failed relationship with his child’s mother. (Not her so to speak more the family unit. He’s not been
With her for years)
Only the last three months after I gave him an ultimatum has he stepped up and we are in a relationship. (I know I stayed for longer than I should’ve)
He’s made much more effort, planned things and we have had some lovely dates. Always calls messages back etc
Our connection intellectually, emotionally and physically is great and we have similar values and outlook on life. I am falling deeply in love and he’s told me he feels the same. I’ve met his friends but not family yet. He’s told work friends about me (recently started new job) all the signs are good.
Friday night we spent the evening together and sat morning. Had a lovely time. We had half made plans to see eachother sat night but nothing set in stone. Anyway I messaged him about 7.30 Saturday to say I couldn’t go out as my daughter was now staying at home. But he was welcome to come over later once she was in bed.
He didn’t message back until 9 (fine) and said he’s been asleep shall we see eachother in the week. Also fine no worries to me, I text back with a question and he then didn’t reply until 11 this morning. He said he slept throughout this time.
So he slept for what 15 hours? In the two years I’ve known him this has not happened.
It’s bull shit right?
I have a feeling he was at exes house - I honestly don’t think there’s anything going on but he knows I wouldn’t like him there if he was at one point going to spend the evening with me. I actually have no problem with him being there to see his daughter. He has her two nights a week at his house but often goes round at other times to see her.
So my problem is this. I can’t prove he’s lying to me and maybe he’s not even.
But who sleeps for that long and doesn’t even read a message. U wouldn’t wake up at 11 the next day if you were asleep at 8?!
He’s lying isn’t he/ and even if he’s not- there’s no trust there from me.
I do believe that trust is something that is built over time so maybe I’m overthinking it.
I don’t want to confront him and if he’s telling the truth ruin something that is blossoming so well now.
At the same time I’m not going to stand for being lied to.
Thinking about just ending things - I don’t know if I’m being paranoid?
I’m not sure if I should have a discussion with him to say I know he’s lying, please tell me the truth.
I’ll talk to him when I next see him whatever. I won’t be able to keep it in.
If he has lied then I know he’s done It to not upset me or rock the apple cart so to speak.
At the same time I can’t bloody stand being lied to for whatever reason.
If he was upfront and told me where he was, then I can choose how I deal with that. If it’s not in the realm of my boundaries then I can choose to finish this relationship.
Help please.
I’ve had shitty relationships in the past where I have been lied to and cheated on.
I’ve really come
So far in respect of my self esteem and self worth over this last year. I know if this doesn’t work now I will end it and go through the pain and not look back... and I will be fine.
I have underlying depression and I’m scared to walk away in case I become ill again. I don’t have much support around me unfortunately.
Thanks

OP’s posts: |
Grandadwasthatyou Mon 14-Sep-20 01:10:06

The oldest excuse in the book I'm afraid...I fell asleep!

Anordinarymum Mon 14-Sep-20 01:12:00

You don't trust him. That's a red flag for me

sunoiuy Wed 16-Sep-20 22:08:19

It is sad
He said he missed my message.
Got a cold etc.

OP’s posts: |

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