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I'm not sure if I want more children.

(4 Posts)
wingingit987 Sun 13-Sep-20 21:48:07

Not sure I posted in the right place but....

I have always said we would have 2 we both wanted that and we agreed however the thought of having 2 terrifies me. My lo was 2 this month and he's great but he's hard work we pay a lot for childcare each month and it feels like things are starting to get easier. It makes me feel very anxious the thought of doing it again.

I always wanted him to have a sibling and I don't think our family is complete yet but I just don't know how I would cope.

I also feel like to say that I wouldn't have another one would put massive pressure on our relationship.

I also suffered with post natal anxiety which really peaked when he was 8 months so that's worries me aswell.

OP’s posts: |
wellingtonshat Sun 13-Sep-20 22:39:06

Sort of in the same boat as you OP. DS is two and a half and it's just starting to get easier. There have been times when I feel like I should have another but in reality I can't face doing it again.
I love DS so much but bloody hell kids are tough, I worry what my MH would be like if we had another.
So we've decided to stick with one, it does make it easier that I'm an only child so have nothing to compare what having siblings is like.
Someone said to me you'll never regret having another child but in my heart of hearts I know I will.
Good luck with whichever decision you make

Gin4thewin Sun 13-Sep-20 23:11:07

I always said 3 but i was happy with one when he was here. We needed to save and buy a house, childcare, money, space etc was all obstacles of why we wouldn't have a 2nd. But then DS started saying he didnt want to be alone and we tried for a 2nd, i had chemicals 8months in a row and said that was it, no more. The year after I got pregnant with our now DD, just after DS's 6th birthday. She honestly completed us. I didnt think i could cope with two, but shes 9m now and honestly easier than DS atm. I like the age gap, she adores him and he is a massive help when i need it. We do still struggle with the loss of freedom a bit. Ds would stay the night with my grandparents a few times a month around my shifts and we could spend the evening as we wished but dd isnt old enough, nor do i want her to sleep out yet for a good few years at least, so that element took some getting used to. I had, and still do, awful guilt about constantly saying to ds "not now, ill do it later" etc when he was used to our undivided attention. They get on brilliantly atm and I do like the age gap. Yes we did have to start all over again but I wouldn't change it. We had loads of time to enjoy ds and with him being at school, I get time with just dd aswell. Theres no rush to have a 2nd x

Katiefizz Sun 13-Sep-20 23:39:02

I had an only child and I just have to point out the other side of the coin. One child can be just as much work as two, we always encouraged friends and cousins to stay over and go on holidays for company, we had to do more extracurriculars.

Basically having an only can be a lot if work. But it can work out really well, I don't regret having an only child now. Just . . If you change your mind further down the line and decide to have a second child you can end up with the situation where you have two "only children" as the age difference is too vast. They don't play, have little in common etc.....

There's no right or wrong answer here, you don't need to answer to anyone but yourselves. I would maybe consider some counselling to help with your anxiety and make sure you're happy with whatever decision you make.

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