Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
This is a Premium feature
Absent father wanting contact(5 Posts)
This is a complicated situation and I would really appreciate any advice. I have a young friend who has a 2 year old child that he’s never seen.
He split up with the mother when she was pregnant, she then moved 3 hours away and told him he was to have no contact. Unfortunately everyone around him told him to leave it so he did. He has recently decided he wants contact but understandably the mother is adamant he won’t have contact. She has a new relationship and a baby with her new partner.
My friend desperately wants to initiate contact but is aware that he’s been worse than useless so far and doesn’t know how is best to proceed.
I would really appreciate any advice.
The obvious question is does he have parental responsibility, is he on the birth certificate and has he suggested paying any child maintenance?
If no to any of these, he is really reliant on the goodwill of the mother. He can push for parental responsibility I believe but probably through the courts. He should offer maintenance anyway as long as there is no doubt about parentage. I think he needs to show consistent and selfless interest first, then ask again.
He needs legal advice.
Has he still been paying maintenance for his child?
As pp said, he needs a solicitor or he can himself contact the mother and ask for contact. If she refuses he needs to go through the Courts as he does have fundemental rights but may have to apply for them. Does he pay any sort of child support? Even if he doesn't now, as the father he does have rights
If he follows the legal procedures to obtain parental responsibility and then mediation and potentially court regarding contact, he is almost certain to be granted some kind of contact, unless there are serious safeguarding issues. It isn't down to the child's mother to decide. He should be understanding of how she might feel about it, given that he hasn't had any contact with the child to date.
Please login first.