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Worried about house move and being single

(7 Posts)
Pearsapple Sun 13-Sep-20 10:49:00

I’m due to move to a village (around 1,300 people), 15 miles from the closest small city, 8 miles to closets three small towns and 45 miles to a ‘proper’ city of Birmingham, where I will be commuting a few days a week.

My best friend has known about this move for a few months, but last night said quite flippantly, ‘it would have been better to have found a man before moving to a small village I suppose, you’ve cut your chances now’

What’s upset me is that in the back of my mind I have been worried about the dating pool getting smaller and she knows this. I’m moving from London where (pre covid) there was a date available every night with similar professionals. I found it all draining and didn’t meet anyone I wanted to be with. I’ve wanted to move back to the midlands and countryside for a while and had hoped that it was a good compromise to still have a big city to work in now and then, even if I commute back to a small village of 1,300 people at the end of the day!

I feel sort of deflated and worried about things. I’m a bit of a worrier anyway. Have I cut my chances of finding someone?

OP’s posts: |
blue30 Sun 13-Sep-20 11:05:19

You’ll be fine! Small towns aren’t full of single old people so they all managed it somehow smile Maybe take a step back from it and go for expanding your organic friendship circle first.

Pearsapple Sun 13-Sep-20 11:07:56

Thanks at 36 I fear it’s too late for all that and maybe I should have stuck out London longer

OP’s posts: |
GetThatHelmetOn Sun 13-Sep-20 11:11:55

I would agree with your friend. But moving from London, you would see the same drop of available professionals to date even if you had moved to anywhere but what you call a “proper city”.

It may be however that you are embraced by the local community who introduce you to the only man available in town, you fall in love with each other and walk into the sunset at the end of the fields. At the end of the day, finding the right person is pretty much a matter of luck.

Kazziepooes Mon 14-Sep-20 19:13:09

No no, you’ve not ruined your chances. The whole London dating thing can be exhausting. Of course there are men outside of London & probably it could be easier somewhere with a smaller population where people aren’t acting like they are in a sweet shop like some people do in London - very jealous as I’m thinking of doing the same myself! All the best!!

Settleandcalm Mon 14-Sep-20 19:16:06

I live in a hamlet of about 50 with a local pub, 3 different chancers from the local have FB asked me out in the last couple of months, I’ve said no as seeing someone. You’re working in a city, the town is big enough, your mate is an arse.

Put it this was you are moving from somewhere that every man has a sweetie jar to pick from and you haven’t met anyone. Maybe a change of scene and a different type of man may be just your speed?

Also without the sweetie jar mentality, you’ll be the prize grin

PatsyClinSilVousPlait Mon 14-Sep-20 20:11:42

Settleandcalm

I live in a hamlet of about 50 with a local pub, 3 different chancers from the local have FB asked me out in the last couple of months, I’ve said no as seeing someone. You’re working in a city, the town is big enough, your mate is an arse.

Put it this was you are moving from somewhere that every man has a sweetie jar to pick from and you haven’t met anyone. Maybe a change of scene and a different type of man may be just your speed?

Also without the sweetie jar mentality, you’ll be the prize grin

If a single woman moved to the snall village I grew up in she'd have the pick of any available men. Some of these will clearly won't be reciprocated, but you wont be short of offers.

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