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(Finally) ready to leave, big deep breath

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artisanmarsbar Sat 12-Sep-20 19:49:28

I've been on/reading relationship thread for a few years. We're friends BUT no/minimal sex, affection, tenderness etc We're now in seperate rooms and I said over a year ago, crunch time. Of which he chose to ignore!!! Pre-ds I didn't mind that his energies went into his own holidays/sports/work. Now, I do, he does make more of an effort now but still. He's basically avoidant. We look fine from the outside as we've been together for ever and have that friendship, we enjoy chatting and obv have lots of shared history. And my friends won't discuss things with me as they've known him for years and like him. So, I feel quite alone.
But I feel the preciousness of life with the menopause. I HAVE told him and he's obv sulked ever since and as yet won't engage with practicalities. I'm so ready to be on my own. BUT How do we tell ds? How do I face the critiscm? As I'll look shitty, no doubt, not him. How do I face the guilt and doubt?
I'm ready to move out somewhere small as he probably won't. So I'll get the judgement.
I feel excited to be both on my own or possibly dating and having sex, romance etc Am I being naive? How do others find the strength?
Lastly, I keep getting these, 'what the fuck am I doing??? Maybe every relationship goes years without sex and affection, stick it out?" moments. IS this normal or am I making a huge mistake?

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