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ex boyfriend

(12 Posts)
nobodyyy Fri 11-Sep-20 12:57:17

So my ex boyfriend had a new girlfirend but never metioned it to me. We had a very long relationship. He was always keeping in touch with me after the break up and sending me messages, even if i still had feelings for him i never sent him anything first. Its been long since we broke up and it was my choice. But as we kept in contact , i still harbored feelings for him and started to believe that at some point we can be together again (i didnt move to next relationship even if its been so long). The reason that i broke up with him was that the relationship really was going bad at that point and we surely needed a break (i dont want to analyze). I was always asking him what he is doing when he was contacting me and he was always pretending that he had no life and only work and stay home. Until i asked directly one day and out of nowhere he said that yes, he has a new relationship. Ofcourse i was angry and told him this is the end of our communication and i dont want him to bother me anymore. I called him liar and he still insisted that he never lied to me (how can u have a new relationship when u pretend that u are home all day or at work) He asked me to not block him yet and asked me to wait for him to come (we live in different places now) so we can talk and so he can say the things he want about this. Now i dont know what to do. I want to disappear after what happened , especially cos i feel like i was mocked. But on the other hand i want to make a last talk with him but i dont even know exactly when he can come (it can be months). I really need to let go finally and all this waiting will hold me back. I want to see different opinions about why he lied to me and hide such an important thing and if it is better to wait and talk with him or end it now.

OP’s posts: |
Iloveme30 Fri 11-Sep-20 13:02:00

Block him immediately.
This relationship is over
He's only using you as an emotional cushion

Whattodotho Fri 11-Sep-20 16:01:12

How long has he been with the new gf? Is this months years? Maybe she was a rebound but it's now progressed to more and he never really dealt with the break up as he jumped into another relationship so soon. Guys like this struggle to be alone long.

Welshgal85 Fri 11-Sep-20 16:08:58

I’m sorry this has happened, he sounds like he has been using you Im afraid and keeping you on the back burner to boost his ego that you were still into him even though he didn’t want to be in the relationship with you.

I think it’s probably best to just cut contact with him, I know that’s hard but he does sound like he is playing mind games with you and stringing you along. You don’t need that kind of drama in your life. Try and move on from him and do things that make you happy. Do you have friends and family you can talk to about it as well?

ClementineWoolysocks Fri 11-Sep-20 16:56:42

What is there to talk about? Don't allow him to continue stringing you along.

Whattodotho Fri 11-Sep-20 17:30:03

Look if he lied about this he is capable of lying more to you and will do. If he wanted to be with you wouldn't you be together? Does he have an ego problem and hold grudges for way too long?

WiserOlder Fri 11-Sep-20 17:32:19

Don't allow him to string you along. He has another relationship now. He knows why you split up and by the sounds of it, he has gone down the route of MOCKING you not trying to prove he's changed.

Please block him.

Lalaloveyou2020 Fri 11-Sep-20 17:57:00

Are you in different countries? Is that why it would take a few months to meet up and talk? Do you have children together? I can't see why you would wait, even if you did. If you say yes to waiting for him, then what? He comes over and you just get back together? By that stage I can assure you that you'll resent him massively and won't want to be with him. At best, he's the avoidant type who doesn't like confrontation. At worst, he's keeping you on hold and his options open all while stroking his own ego. Neither scenario is very attractive in a mate. I would suggest working on your self esteem; let go of him,love yourself.

Greeneyes78 Fri 11-Sep-20 18:12:36

fgs he’s got a girlfriend now get over it!

Opentooffers Fri 11-Sep-20 18:28:56

I know you don't want to analyse, but it might be helpful to focus on the bad things that made you break up with him. It sounds like you've got a case of I don't want him but I don't want someone else to have him either. Has he somehow become more attractive to you know someone else is on the scene maybe? He may have been telling porkies to get you to meet him, sounds like it's working.

katy1213 Fri 11-Sep-20 18:39:33

There's nothing to discuss - why are you dragging this out? You've no right to be angry - you broke up with him, remember?

Lifeislikeaboxofchocolat Fri 11-Sep-20 18:46:23

You made the decision to break up with him regardless of the feelings you harboured. Therefore standby your decision, accept he’s now in a new relationship.
You called it a day.... you made the choice. You’re only hurting yourself more by communicating with him. Honestly, Move on.

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