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Asking for advice on relationship with parents

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franklyhonest · 10/09/2020 12:16

I know some people are very close to their parents were they will see each other frequently, do stuff together as a family that sort of thing but I don't think I'm close to my parents.

We see each other once a month and it's always me, dh and dc going to visit them despite them living close and often in the area in fact it's 9 months since they last visited us. My mum and I text once a week and it's never anything about what's going on in our lives it's always about my dc and how she misses them. If I try strike up a conversation she shuts it down . Last week I mentioned we were after been away and straight away oh hope the kids have a lovely time talk soon. She didn't even ask where were we.

They always have excuses not to turn up to things, they've never turned up for any of dcs birthdays but ask us to pop out a few days prior so they could give presents or will badger me after the birthday to collect presents as they're taking up room in their place. My 30th they couldn't make it even though dh had arranged everything weeks in advance and booked a meal for close family and friends. When I was getting married they offered to babysit in lieu of attending the list goes on.
It's no even a fear of Covid as during lockdown they asked us over but we declined as both myself and dh work outside the home plus we weren't allowed. It nearly feels like all they want to do is sit home all day have visitors and not make the effort yet they were the first to remark when my cousin was in their area at a convention last year and didn't call in.

I haven't seen them since July which is longer than usual but I'm so tired of inviting them over and all I get is we'll see. They're in their 50s, in good health, drive and work 3 days a week.
Both myself and dh work, 3 small dc and our days are busy with after school clubs, work and weekends swimming and matches. Part of me feels guilty for not visiting them since July but if I do I feel I'm enabling them to not visit. Any advice please?