Too much..

(47 Posts)
a00031 Thu 10-Sep-20 01:06:32

My husband works from 10:30PM TO 7:00AM
(Overnight) he then will wake up no later than 2:30 PM. My day consists of waking up at 7am to my toddler and working from home. I have to take conference calls, tons of work, make breakfast and lunch for my toddler, all the diaper changes, snacks and anything she might need throughout the day. I'm also expected to wash dishes, laundry...etc. Today when he wakes up at 1:20 I'm finishing up a call. He literally gets pissed because I didn't have food made. 1) I didn't know he was going to wake up at that time. 2) we just got back from a getaway and I was drowning in work that I came back to 3) I also have to care for our daughter throughout the day! Don't get me wrong hes been helping a lot last 2 months with dinner and things around the house but today he threw that all in my face and pretty much told me that I'm less of a women because I didn't serve him food. He's had temper tantrums like this all summer. He can be sooo sweet and then have these grudges that are soooooo annoying to deal with. Like dealing with a big baby sometimes. I guess I've just come here to vent....

OP’s posts: |
Closetbeanmuncher Thu 10-Sep-20 01:15:12

Think I would be serving him up a dog shit sandwich for tommorows lunch.

What an entitled prick.

cantstopsinginglittlebabybum Thu 10-Sep-20 01:16:41

Can dd go to nursery? He can drop her off when he gets home from work, he can sleep and you can work.

He's got his own hands op, he can sort his own food out and he can do a load of washing.

ulanbatorismynextstop Thu 10-Sep-20 02:21:26

How long have you been together, if he's only been bad the last few months, maybe his mask is slipping and you're seeing the real him. It will get worse over time.

a00031 Thu 10-Sep-20 02:58:07

10 years together. About 6 years living together

OP’s posts: |
Mintjulia Thu 10-Sep-20 03:14:28

I'm sure he knows where the bread and cheese are kept. Or the takeaway menu !

Lazy sexist prat.

Windmillwhirl Thu 10-Sep-20 04:10:07

He's lazy as fcuk. I suppose you have done everything fo so long he just expects it. I would not be happy with a man so self absorbed and selfish. How do you feel about him generally?


ChristmasFluff Thu 10-Sep-20 12:08:50

He appears to have forgotten you are not an employee.

He also appears to have no love, care or respect for you.

Without him, your life would be much happier, and it would be one less person to look after for you.

Vent if you like - but remind yourself that there are other choices you could make if he doesn't sort himself out.

billy1966 Thu 10-Sep-20 12:29:15

I hope your contraception is sorted.

He's a lazy disrespectful twat.

Think long and hard about the future you want and who you want to spend it with.


VettiyaIruken Thu 10-Sep-20 12:32:26

Less of a woman?
Less of a 1940's housewife he means.

Fuck. That.

SoulofanAggron Thu 10-Sep-20 13:57:52

It should be the bin for him.

SandyY2K Thu 10-Sep-20 14:18:07

That less of a woman comment would have sealed his fate in me never serving him food ever again.

Sexist comments like that really make me furious.

FinallyHere Thu 10-Sep-20 15:25:49

How much childcare is he doing ? Housework. Cooking?

He sounds quite the prize.

EKGEMS Thu 10-Sep-20 17:33:52

So are you going to address this disrespectful and hateful behavior towards yourself or are you just just going to vent to total strangers? If you're tolerating being treated like a domestic servant then he'll continue to behave like the stays quo.

EKGEMS Thu 10-Sep-20 17:34:20

Status quo

a00031 Thu 10-Sep-20 18:08:05


How much childcare is he doing ? Housework. Cooking?

He sounds quite the prize.

He'll wake up, Sometime go on a run or not. He will change a diaper or two. Yesterday he upset me because of this and decided to isolate himself in the room and take a run so he ended up changing 0 diapers. He spent a total of 10 minutes with our daughter reading to her. I was drowning in work yesterday and he decided to just think about himself and how HE wasn't getting fed. Instead of being understanding and taking our daughter to the park or something so I could have a quite house. Nope he leaves and does his own thing and comes back an hour before her bedtime and complains again about dinner. Don't I get me wrong I love my husband but I hate this behavior. He's helped out making dinners, laundry and cleaning around the house the last 2 months I'd say but now he's telling me "don't get used to that" I rather not get his help at all then if he can't help out everyday. We both want a second baby but I've just been waiting on this to change.

OP’s posts: |
Closetbeanmuncher Thu 10-Sep-20 18:56:05


The serving him up a dog shit sandwich was entirely a joke.

The only thing I would be serving that bratty prick is a smack in the chops or divorce papers (probably both).

I would really think long and hard before getting pregnant again OP as the belief that he's doing you a favour by contributing to your child's care seems to be ingrained in him.

If he isn't competent enough to slap a piece of meat between two slices of bread without being fed it like a baby bird you're in trouble.

MikeUniformMike Thu 10-Sep-20 19:00:33

" Don't get me wrong hes been helping a lot last 2 months with dinner and things around the house "

Helping. This is your problem. He is still in the 1950s.

jeaux90 Thu 10-Sep-20 19:07:26

Helping around the house! It's HIS house too and HIS child. Honestly what a prick.

I'm a single working mum and my life is way better and easier than having to deal with one of those man babies.

I mean seriously, what does he actually add to your life?

madcatladyforever Thu 10-Sep-20 19:11:31

He had better thank his lucky stars he isnt my husband. What a prick.

YouBringLightInToADarkPlace Thu 10-Sep-20 19:41:58

It's rare I jump on threads like this, but honestly, you need to have higher standards for yourself.

I'm not saying LTB because it's easy to chuck that around and rarely if ever a real solution.
But please stop using language like "helping" or "he's been helpful".

You ALLOW him to think this is normal, that he's somehow doing you a favour.

Stand up for yourself... please. This is what your daughter will think is a woman's role.

Aerial2020 Thu 10-Sep-20 19:47:08

You have 2 children already

Wavescrashingonthebeach Thu 10-Sep-20 19:49:04

Geez. Show him this thread. Here's my words for him:


rumred Thu 10-Sep-20 20:09:30

" Don't get me wrong hes been helping a lot last 2 months with dinner and things around the house "

Helping. This is your problem. He is still in the 1950s.

Nope. You are too. A partner doesn't 'help'. They do their fair share. He will take the piss as long as you allow it. You matter too

TorkTorkBam Thu 10-Sep-20 20:14:06

How did he lock himself away? Why did you not dump the baby on him and demand your dinner cooked?

It seems he is not the only one to put his needs well above yours. You are doing it too. Are you scared of him?

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