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The lowest I have ever felt

(12 Posts)
Hotairoverthere Wed 09-Sep-20 22:10:54

I need help to shake this off.

I recently left my fiancé and I am living in my dad and step dads house with our two kids.

I’m struggling so much. I don’t have a job yet I’m trying desperately. I don’t have my own car. We are fighting over money and days he will have the kids (despite him having very little interest in them until now).

He’s in a 4 bed house whilst I’m in my dads spare room. He’s currently blocked as all we do is argue and it upsets me so we are communicating via a third party.

Every job I apply for rejects me.

And then there’s Covid. If we lock down again and the schools close I genuinely feel I would need to go back home as it’s not fair on the kids.

I could cry and do every day.

I woke up this morning and wrote a gratitude list and it does help but only for a moment. I meditate and try to distract myself but I’m unbelievably down.

When will it get better? Any tips or advice?

OP’s posts: |
Mrsmorton Wed 09-Sep-20 22:12:22

OP I'm so sorry for you. I don't have any advice except that it will get better. Some clever people will be along soon with real advice but for now flowers

talltreewessex Wed 09-Sep-20 22:22:21

Have you thought about volunteering at a charity shop or community project? It will give you something to be proud of and get you out and about.

It will get better!

Indoorcamping Wed 09-Sep-20 22:37:38

Is the house in his name only or both of you?

Hotairoverthere Wed 09-Sep-20 22:40:41

Both of our names. It is mortgaged.

OP’s posts: |
RandomMess Thu 10-Sep-20 08:37:52

You could force sale of the house to release your share?

Comtesse Thu 10-Sep-20 08:45:20

Sounds very hard OP. But this is not forever. It is nonsense that you are squished up in your family whilst he is in a big house that you jointly own. I know you feel sad but feeling angry at the inequality might help you solve some of this. Why are you and kids not in the house? This is rubbish - do you have a solicitor on the case?

JamieLeeCurtains Thu 10-Sep-20 08:46:38

Given you share children and a mortgaged property, the best advice I can give you is to see (speak to) a solicitor who specialises in divorce and relationship breakdowns, to establish your legal position and set the ball rolling about the house.

If you couldn't afford to run it on your own (a mortgage lender might not let you include CMS child support in your income calculations) then it will need to be sold.

Practical things are worth focusing on.

As for emotional side, you need support too. I hope you have good people in your life flowers

FippertyGibbett Thu 10-Sep-20 08:48:14

Definitely speak to a solicitor ( you can frequently get a free 30 mins ) and get that house on the market.

freeingNora Thu 10-Sep-20 09:05:06

Start claiming all you are entitled too and ask your dad to charge you rent so you can claim that too. Claim your entitlement to the child support and if possible got to see a solicitor do you have an interest in the house ? Are you on the dress ?

Things do get better but it takes time

freeingNora Thu 10-Sep-20 09:06:39

freeingNora

Start claiming all you are entitled too and ask your dad to charge you rent so you can claim that too. Claim your entitlement to the child support and if possible got to see a solicitor do you have an interest in the house ? Are you on the dress ?

Things do get better but it takes time


On the deeds !! grin

RandomMess Thu 10-Sep-20 09:48:50

They weren't married.

As co owner you can force sale of the house through the courts, you could investigate gaining an occupation order to move back in.

Hopefully the child benefit is in your name and if you haven't done already clean child maintenance from him today.

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