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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Freedom Programme advice please

12 replies

SistemaAddict · 08/09/2020 22:10

I have recently been signposted to the local women's centre and assigned a caseworker who is going to do a one to one freedom programme with me over a couple of months. I know a little about the programme, just the basics really, but I am hoping someone here can provide a more experienced picture of what to expect. Just doing the initial assessment with the caseworker was tough and I only mentioned a few things, so I'm nervous about it and what it will drag up emotionally. I've spent so long being told things were my fault and that I was not abused but rather the abuser that it was emotional being listened to and believed. Knowing someone wants to help me was a hugely strange thing too. I'm always suspicious of people being nice. It's not my experience that people are trustworthy and willing to help. This will be a huge leap for me.

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SoulofanAggron · 08/09/2020 22:21

You could get the book that goes with the programme www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Dominator-Pat-Craven/dp/1477410597?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 Then you'd get an idea of what'll be covered. The idea is it doesn't go into your own stuff, it's not therapy, so it's not as intense in theory. But people do find it heavy sometimes.

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SistemaAddict · 09/09/2020 09:02

Thank you

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pinkstinks · 09/09/2020 20:15

Wow how amazing that you have someone able to do 121 support with you!
At the moment all groups are off here and workers diverted to front line support
I think 121 can be harder than a group as there is nowhere to hide so prepare for it to be intense and keep some time free after in ordering to ground and process.
Maybe keep a pad near to jot down things that come up or you want to explore further with your worker

A good thing about the groups is hearing other people’s experiences and having other women not just workers validate your feelings maybe you will feel to success a group at some point too - best of both worlds! There are some running on zoom
Best of luck and happy to answer any questions!

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pinkstinks · 09/09/2020 20:16

*be able to access

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SistemaAddict · 09/09/2020 21:28

Thank you. Normally it would be in a group but the centre is closed due to covid so they are offering it via phone. The lady sounded very positive and understanding and that threw me completely. Freedom programme first then counselling and life coaching. Sounds full on but I need it. I'm just nervous and have the dc at home as we are self isolating so not ideal but I've waited a long time for this and it will do me good. It's just scary to think of all the things I've ignored or suppressed or even denied over the years.

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SistemaAddict · 11/09/2020 18:44

Has anyone found it helpful? I'm physically safe but mentally not so and finding things hard. I've had so many years of this and just want to be left alone now.

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SoulofanAggron · 11/09/2020 19:49

I'm physically safe but mentally not so and finding things hard

Speak to your GP too hun, or if you've already been, go back and tell them how you're feeling. There are dozens of things they can try.

I took part in a Freedom Programme group via Zoom yesterday. It was fantastic. It's actually not as downbeat as a lot of courses, as you all get to let off steam about the men and you meet some really supportive women.

If the centre run or know of any relevant groups/courses via Zoom or anything then I'd definitely recommend joining in.

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Annabellerina · 11/09/2020 20:06

It transformed my life! Would recommend it to everyone, not just those who have been abused.

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pinkstinks · 12/09/2020 09:07

Also when you have done freedom take a look at recovery toolkit. It’s CBT based and I use as a follow on. More of a focus on you and your life and where you want it to be and moving forward. Good luck

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SistemaAddict · 12/09/2020 12:32

Thank you. My case worker is also a life coach so once the programme is done then we will be working on me. Ex just tries to mentally break me regularly and I'm so tired of it.

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slousa · 20/09/2020 17:03

Please consider doing the freedom programme as we show you the cycle of abuse and tactics and I fully understand about the bit of wanting to be left alone but this programme is a life saver and you could never go on to have another abusive relationship after doing this. Happy to chat about it if you want to contact me, consider making this one of the most important things you will do and it is free, we do them online.

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SistemaAddict · 21/09/2020 22:51

Thank you. I have my next phone appointment tomorrow with my case worker. She's fab and I feel very confident in her knowledge and enthusiasm. I am happy being single so I'm not looking for another relationship any time soon. Maybe in my next life if such a thing exists. I don't have the interest at all.