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Would you rather have a relationship for the rest of your life where the butterflies have worn off or have a series of relationships that never get stale?

(16 Posts)
Cautious42 Tue 08-Sep-20 21:19:51

Just that really. At some point the first flush of romance always wears off and you get the "seven year itch".

Would you rather have a single relationship you have to put some effort into keeping a spark going or chop and have a series throughout your life where you can "chop and change" for a fresh supply of new butterflies and keep feeling that flush of new love?

OP’s posts: |
AbsolutWitch Tue 08-Sep-20 21:21:21

The first one, without a doubt

WinWinnieTheWay Tue 08-Sep-20 21:22:09

At this point in my life I think I'd actually prefer to be on my own.

RHOBHfan Tue 08-Sep-20 21:24:33

Don’t really accept the premise of your question, OP

DH and I have settled into a different kind of love from the initial flush. But I wouldn’t describe it as ‘wearing off’... its organically evolved into something different and better. I certainly haven’t had a seven year itch (married 10 years, together 12, known each other for 20).

Equally... I don’t have to put effort into keeping a spark going... but then, I never really had expectation that a ‘spark’ was persistent. Again, it’s just evolved....

PamDemic Tue 08-Sep-20 21:33:38

I don't expect butterflies for ever, but I won't settle with anyone just to avoid being alone.

cactusdog Tue 08-Sep-20 21:41:55

Ooh difficult. I think in reality the first one. Especially if you wanted kids and to settle down.

Although now I think about it, part of the butterflies and the excitement (for me anyway) is the idea of the future with that person and falling in love etc. Not just getting them into bed, although that's definitely part of it).

Right now I feel too tired to even think about the idea of a new relationship lol.

ThePhoenixAndTheAshes Tue 08-Sep-20 21:49:47

@WinWinnieTheWay 'At this point in my life I think I'd actually prefer to be on my own.' Me too.

SoulofanAggron Tue 08-Sep-20 21:52:01

I like to think it's not an either/or. That you can be with someone long term where you're relaxed in each other's company but fancy them and have good sex.

Bunnymumy Tue 08-Sep-20 21:52:24

As long as the later didnt involve messy breakups then I'd pick that. Imagine a string of fun filled nights, without any drama and each time with butterflies. Sign me up.

But in reality that would never happen.
So I guess then I would pick option 3: single.

Foghornleghorn99 Tue 08-Sep-20 21:52:41

Never had butterflies for DH. Ive settled for the relationship - it means my children are financially stable, we have a lovely house, several holidays a year, I get to go out when i want (within reason) and so does DH. There are other reasons too but too putting, all involve safe guarding my children

Foghornleghorn99 Tue 08-Sep-20 21:53:04

*too outting

nettytree Tue 08-Sep-20 21:56:10

I've been married 17 years and I still fancy my husband. I don't think I could ever get butterflies with any one else.

louise4745 Tue 08-Sep-20 22:07:57


BDC68 Tue 08-Sep-20 23:14:38

I’d rather be on my own too.

user196523585443 Tue 08-Sep-20 23:17:24

I'd rather have meaningful human connections than "butterflies". I don't form relationships for a buzz.

Guineapigbridge Wed 09-Sep-20 05:51:23

Depends if there's children involved. The first kind - or single - if there are. The second if there aren't.

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