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breakup and pregnancy

(5 Posts)
AvocadoYUK Tue 08-Sep-20 15:36:26

so long story short, me and my current partner broke up a few days ago after together nearly a year .
He wanted things to move quicker and being a "single mum " I wanted things to go slowly for my toddler. This clashed alot so it felt best and fair to end things (I still love him but felt unsure about everything when I have to put my child first). But today i just found im pregnant (pure chance at a unrelated doctor checkup). And i don't know what to do. Technically it would mean that issue would disappear but I've also had a problem with depression and anxiety recently. I didnt enjoy my pregnancy with my first and struggle as a mum. I adore my toddler but I've been impaitnet for school to start just to get 5 minutes to myself. I feel so so conflicted and dont kbow who tk talk to sad

OP’s posts: |
seensome Tue 08-Sep-20 15:43:41

No one can tell you what you should do, just let the news sink in, maybe give a few days to know for sure. If your swaying more towards keeping then discuss it with your ex see if you can get more clarity on what to do.

Sakurami Tue 08-Sep-20 15:48:07

How supportive do you think he would be?
Think about what is best for you and if you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, do you want to go back k to him?

updownroundandround Tue 08-Sep-20 15:56:55

You need to take time to really think about what you want to do.

You say this pregnancy would mean your ExDP would be happy that things were going at his speed, but it's not going to change your mind about how fast you'd be happier going at, would it ?

I think the pressure would definitely affect your other medical issues, so you need to really take time, on your own, to really consider whether you could cope with the huge changes another child would bring.

Also, I'm wondering how your ExDP would cope with having to settle for 4th place in the new pecking order of the 'new' family ??
As you will put both DC before HIM, and obviously you have to put yourself next, as you're the one caring for the children, so they NEED you every hour of every day, for the next 18yrs or so......................

If he was already upset at coming after your DC (which is exactly right !), how will he feel if he thinks 'your' DC is coming before 'his' DC ??
Because you will be putting your DC's feelings first, to help them transition from 'only' child to having a sibling.

I'd not be telling him about the pregnancy at all until you've decided what you want to do. (and if you decided to terminate, I'd not tell him at all as what he's never known about won't upset him, will it?).

AvocadoYUK Tue 08-Sep-20 19:42:00

I have much to think about sad I feel incredibly lost right now

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