A relationship where you meet every second weekend

[littlebitotartan]

Does anyone have this and can it work in your experience ?
Any tips? We live 30 minutes away from
Eachother with our own children.

[MikeUniformMike]

It can work if you both want it to work.

[IvyEf]

Any relationship can work if both parties are happy with the deal and are committed to making it work.

Are you?

[Redraptor]

Honestly if anything ever happened between my husband and I, i think its the o ly kind of relationship I'd want!

[littlebitotartan]

I really am. It's really what I want and he does too but I wonder as time goes on if we would want more commitment ? We are not willing to blend families as they are young . Our youngest children are eleven

[TheStoic]

That’s my current relationship, it’s working really well for us! We chat every day, either by video call or text.

[noclue452]

I did this for 3 years with my ex while I was still at uni and honestly we made it work so well. It was arguably when my relationship was at its best. It's just routine and you get used to it after a while. It makes things so much more exciting when you see each other ☺️ we of course had some exceptions like holidays. We facetimed every day. As long as you're both willing it can defo work!

[noclue452]

Forgot to say, we were an hour apart. We did one evening in those 2 weeks as well x

[louise4745]

My husband is 6 hours away.

[IvyEf]

If time goes on and you want more then you'll talk about it and figure it out - don't worry/stress about how you MIGHT feel in the future. See how it goes and take each day as it comes. Enjoy!

[blinkybill47]

Is this a long term plan? How many years? Is there talk of ever moving in together once children are older/out of home?

It's all about the commitment of the two people involved in how successful these situations are

[littlebitotartan]

Long term plan. No willing to blend families while children are living at home so long term yes

[Lookingoutside]

If you are genuinely happy then yes, absolutely it will work. The clue will perhaps be in how you feel when you’re away from him.

Prepare for raised eyebrows amongst family and friends!

[booboo24]

If you're both genuinely happy with that then yes it can work. Either one of you may change your minds at some point, but you can cross that bridge when and if you come to it

[littlebitotartan]

Thanks. Can I ask why you think there might be raised eyebrows ?? This is all so new . In many ways, it feels like the ideal telationship considering the useless cheating husband I had for so long.

[movingonup20]

If it works for you both then fine but do you really want to spend years living like this? Blending families is hard, but done carefully you could have more time together and the kids will leave home at some point

[Sunshineandflipflops]

This is pretty much what I have with my bf. We sometimes see each other one night int he week but sometimes not. We live an hour apart. It's worked for the past year and I also have no plans to blend families or move anyone in while my children are at home (they are 12 and 14).

We are both happy with the situation though and I think that's key. He likes his own space and where he lives and so do I so it's win win.

[Sunshineandflipflops]

Also, just to add that my friend has been with her bf about 5 years now. they are mid 40's and 50, no kids on either side and live about 45 mins from each other. They do see each other every weekend but they are very happy with not living together and have no plans to change it.

If you are both happy then it's no-one else's business really.

[Starlight39]

I think it's a good plan and don't think it's anyone else's business to comment on if it works for you two.

The only issues I can think of are if the kids all leave home and one party wants to move forward and live together and the other party is happy with how things are. Or if one child stays until mid 20s or longer, what happens then? Also, would it be flexible so if at 16, say, the youngest children were relatively independent, would you change the pattern?

[Sakurami]

Sounds perfect and it is what I want. Have time with the kids without any pressure from another parent, deal with teenage outbursts etc and then when you meet up you concentrate on each other and have fun.

[JudyGemstone]

Sounds like the holy grail of relationships to me!

[Lookingoutside]

Because many people have a fixed idea of what makes a relationship. That if it’s real you’ll be in each other’s pockets.

As you know, that’s not always the case. Be confident about your wants and needs.

[HugeAckmansWife]

Yep, we've been doing it for 4 years. Don't want to blend, value my financial independence and general autonomy. I think it's increasingly common but you'll get nay sayers on here saying that it's not a committed relationship, only a boyfriend not partner etc.

[Bence69]

I see my partner every weekend from Friday night till Monday morning I leave at 5.30am to drive 55 miles back to where I live. It will work if you are both in the same page xx

[amillionwishes]

Living apart together is definitely no less of a committed relationship than one where you live in the same house, imagine telling someone who's partner was in the forces or worked on a rig for weeks at a time that their relationship wasn't a "proper" one!

It will work if you want it to, for me it wouldn't be enough but it definitely has its merits wrt finances etc. It's something that can be reassessed at points in the future, isn't it.

[IndieTara]

Yes idid this for a couple of years but we lived an hour apart. Suited me just fine. But I don't like being joined at the hip