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A relationship where you meet every second weekend

(43 Posts)
littlebitotartan Tue 08-Sep-20 11:50:04

Does anyone have this and can it work in your experience ?
Any tips? We live 30 minutes away from
Eachother with our own children.

OP’s posts: |
MikeUniformMike Tue 08-Sep-20 12:13:16

It can work if you both want it to work.

IvyEf Tue 08-Sep-20 12:15:30

Any relationship can work if both parties are happy with the deal and are committed to making it work.

Are you?

Redraptor Tue 08-Sep-20 12:16:58

Honestly if anything ever happened between my husband and I, i think its the o ly kind of relationship I'd want!

littlebitotartan Tue 08-Sep-20 12:21:12

I really am. It's really what I want and he does too but I wonder as time goes on if we would want more commitment ? We are not willing to blend families as they are young . Our youngest children are eleven

OP’s posts: |
TheStoic Tue 08-Sep-20 12:21:44

That’s my current relationship, it’s working really well for us! We chat every day, either by video call or text.

noclue452 Tue 08-Sep-20 12:24:09

I did this for 3 years with my ex while I was still at uni and honestly we made it work so well. It was arguably when my relationship was at its best. It's just routine and you get used to it after a while. It makes things so much more exciting when you see each other ☺️ we of course had some exceptions like holidays. We facetimed every day. As long as you're both willing it can defo work!

noclue452 Tue 08-Sep-20 12:24:59

Forgot to say, we were an hour apart. We did one evening in those 2 weeks as well x

louise4745 Tue 08-Sep-20 12:25:43

My husband is 6 hours away.

IvyEf Tue 08-Sep-20 12:26:05

If time goes on and you want more then you'll talk about it and figure it out - don't worry/stress about how you MIGHT feel in the future. See how it goes and take each day as it comes. Enjoy!

blinkybill47 Tue 08-Sep-20 12:32:25

Is this a long term plan? How many years? Is there talk of ever moving in together once children are older/out of home?

It's all about the commitment of the two people involved in how successful these situations are

littlebitotartan Tue 08-Sep-20 12:39:26

Long term plan. No willing to blend families while children are living at home so long term yes

OP’s posts: |
Lookingoutside Tue 08-Sep-20 13:27:24

If you are genuinely happy then yes, absolutely it will work. The clue will perhaps be in how you feel when you’re away from him.

Prepare for raised eyebrows amongst family and friends!

booboo24 Tue 08-Sep-20 14:02:33

If you're both genuinely happy with that then yes it can work. Either one of you may change your minds at some point, but you can cross that bridge when and if you come to it

littlebitotartan Tue 08-Sep-20 14:11:18

Thanks. Can I ask why you think there might be raised eyebrows ?? This is all so new . In many ways, it feels like the ideal telationship considering the useless cheating husband I had for so long.

OP’s posts: |
movingonup20 Tue 08-Sep-20 15:12:01

If it works for you both then fine but do you really want to spend years living like this? Blending families is hard, but done carefully you could have more time together and the kids will leave home at some point

Sunshineandflipflops Tue 08-Sep-20 15:15:36

This is pretty much what I have with my bf. We sometimes see each other one night int he week but sometimes not. We live an hour apart. It's worked for the past year and I also have no plans to blend families or move anyone in while my children are at home (they are 12 and 14).

We are both happy with the situation though and I think that's key. He likes his own space and where he lives and so do I so it's win win.

Sunshineandflipflops Tue 08-Sep-20 15:17:48

Also, just to add that my friend has been with her bf about 5 years now. they are mid 40's and 50, no kids on either side and live about 45 mins from each other. They do see each other every weekend but they are very happy with not living together and have no plans to change it.

If you are both happy then it's no-one else's business really.

Starlight39 Tue 08-Sep-20 15:39:32

I think it's a good plan and don't think it's anyone else's business to comment on if it works for you two.

The only issues I can think of are if the kids all leave home and one party wants to move forward and live together and the other party is happy with how things are. Or if one child stays until mid 20s or longer, what happens then? Also, would it be flexible so if at 16, say, the youngest children were relatively independent, would you change the pattern?

Sakurami Tue 08-Sep-20 15:45:09

Sounds perfect and it is what I want. Have time with the kids without any pressure from another parent, deal with teenage outbursts etc and then when you meet up you concentrate on each other and have fun.

JudyGemstone Tue 08-Sep-20 15:49:19

Sounds like the holy grail of relationships to me!

Lookingoutside Tue 08-Sep-20 16:30:54

Because many people have a fixed idea of what makes a relationship. That if it’s real you’ll be in each other’s pockets.

As you know, that’s not always the case. Be confident about your wants and needs.

HugeAckmansWife Tue 08-Sep-20 16:36:57

Yep, we've been doing it for 4 years. Don't want to blend, value my financial independence and general autonomy. I think it's increasingly common but you'll get nay sayers on here saying that it's not a committed relationship, only a boyfriend not partner etc.

Bence69 Tue 08-Sep-20 16:47:11

I see my partner every weekend from Friday night till Monday morning I leave at 5.30am to drive 55 miles back to where I live. It will work if you are both in the same page xx

amillionwishes Tue 08-Sep-20 16:56:04

Living apart together is definitely no less of a committed relationship than one where you live in the same house, imagine telling someone who's partner was in the forces or worked on a rig for weeks at a time that their relationship wasn't a "proper" one!

It will work if you want it to, for me it wouldn't be enough but it definitely has its merits wrt finances etc. It's something that can be reassessed at points in the future, isn't it.

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