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Having a down week(9 Posts)
I have a brilliant life and I’m so happy in it. Lockdown and the ongoing restrictions have really highlighted how lonely I am though. I have a great group of friends who are all in relationships and having babies and I am really so happy for them. I am part of a number of groups and enjoy being involved in them. But I’m single and can’t find someone to settle down with. I’ve been online dating (for two years now) and don’t see any more men that I’m attracted to or interested in on there, I’ve spoken with a few men but it never reaches the point of a date or even a phone call. I’ve tried updating my profile and my photos, I’ve tried speaking with men I wouldn’t normally speak to, Ive tried ignoring little signs I wouldn’t normally accept. Yet still there’s no one, is this it for me? Am I destined to be single and childless forever? Time is ticking on for me and I’m even more aware of this as my friends get to go home with their babies and children and partners and I get to go home to my empty home. Is there anyone here who has tips? Or who has found happiness being single and childless?
You know you aren't alone. You know you need to stay positive and keep looking.
But maybe after a long and difficult year, you need a change of scene. What can you do between now and Christmas that would be completely different and stimulating?
The sad truth is there’s nothing I can do that is different. I’m in an area with right restrictions, I don’t have the money to book a holiday or travel, I am very much stuck. I don’t know how to fix this rut and how to find the right man for me.
"I've tried ignoring little signs I wouldn’t normally accept".
Stop doing this to yourself immediately; that approach could land you in an abusive relationship. You do not ignore red flags ever!. Hard as this could be to accept stop tying yourself up in such knots. The more seemingly desperate you are to partner up with a man the more likely you will end up with Mr Wrong. You're ok as you are and do not have to change or bend your own will for anyone else. Love your own self.
I do have to be careful not to end up in an abusive relationship but if I’m honest I wondered if I was being too strict (I’ve been in an abusive relationship before, had counselling, waited till I am ready to date) so only ignore minor things, but your message has made me realise that was not the right thing. I don’t know what it is about me that means I don’t get to have a relationship with children, I’m a very confident person so in my heart I know there’s nothing wrong with me but I wish I knew how to have a partner to settle down with.
I would come away from the dating scene for a while, I always end up meeting someone when I least expect it and when I stop trying.
Join a gym or take up a class, keep your self busy and have fun
Things will get better op. Do you work? Have you also thought about volunteering? I had always not been keen on volunteering but i did it during Covid and met great people and it kept me busy and focused while work shut down.
Also, walking clubs and park
walks runs are great- when they reopen. You do not have to be Mo Farrah to participate and can attend alone. Families, singles and fun runners/walkers all take part. Always getting chatting to people as i am walking the route ( i have not run since 1985) with the others. Great place to meet people of all sexes, make new single friends etc. My friend met her now DH at a walking club and he is seriously handsome and successful ! How old are you op? Sorry if you have already said or do not want to divulge!
Another of my friends ( mid 30's at the time) met her DH at a latin dance class. Again he is same age as her and a lovely guy. They are married now, 2 DC's and living in Australia.
I think as activities start to reopen you need to get out there. Also,volunteering gets you out there too.
Would you consider training to be a PCSO in your spare time? Another one of my friends did this about 4 yrs ago and met a lovely policeman in the bargin! The training is hard though and you do need to be physically fit for this option.
Basically, do real world things moving forward and stay off on line dating for now.
Also, amateur dramatics? Not my bag but maybe yours?
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