Would sex everyday get a bit much

(30 Posts)
Lurcherloves Mon 07-Sep-20 21:26:04

Been married for 11 years together for 14. My DH wants sex all the time. On holiday we managed everyday (when kids asleep). I find it too much when I’m working during the week I get tired and am not interested and I find it stressful having to firmly turn him down when I should be relaxing to get to sleep. I like sex but not when I’m tired or want to unwind from work and certainly not in the morning when there is loads to do before work
I think three or four times a week is enough
I find his keeping on is putting me off and making me feel sick, which is awful because I do love him. Any advice

OP’s posts: |
SoulofanAggron Mon 07-Sep-20 21:29:43

Far, far too much, and nagging is a binning offence to me.

AnyFucker Mon 07-Sep-20 21:31:01

Why won't he stop pestering you ?

SwanShaped Mon 07-Sep-20 21:32:39

It’s not whether it’s too much on average, but it sounds like it’s too much for you and he’s not listening. That’s the problem. That would fuck me right off. Huge turn off.

Beamur Mon 07-Sep-20 21:34:54

Way too much for me.
Being pestered for sex would also kill my libido. It's so disrespectful.

CodenameVillanelle Mon 07-Sep-20 21:34:58

A sex pest

Coolhand2 Mon 07-Sep-20 21:35:19

Why not agree to make it a quickie when you are tired, like I do with my husband.


CodenameVillanelle Mon 07-Sep-20 21:35:50


Why not agree to make it a quickie when you are tired, like I do with my husband.

Because she doesn't want to??

Catmaiden Mon 07-Sep-20 21:36:49

Wtf? Why on earth should she "agree to make it a quickie?"
She is not a sex doll!

Bleepbloopblarp Mon 07-Sep-20 21:37:43

God yes it’s too much! Sounds knackering.

SoulofanAggron Mon 07-Sep-20 21:39:02

Swan is right. Also, 2 times the week is the average that people claim, and maybe they're exaggerating that. I say that because you mentioned giving in to him 3-4 times a week. I was with a guy once where I felt that if I didn't do it one night then I had to do it the next night. I probably didn't want it as much as that but I thought I should.

I have an active sex life by myself that probably averages about twice a week maybe. I don't particularly feel the need for sex with someone else for now.

MozzarellaMonster Mon 07-Sep-20 21:40:02

Everyday would make it a chore, nothing sexy about chores.
His persistence after saying no would be a deal breaker as again there's no bigger turn off than a sex pest.

userxx Mon 07-Sep-20 21:43:24

I could think of nothing worse to be honest but that's me.

SoulofanAggron Mon 07-Sep-20 21:43:55

The guy I felt I had to give it every other night was sexually coercive, strops if he didn't get it. He was also rapey. There are lots of threads on sexual coercion if you search for them, they might resonate with you.

Why not agree to make it a quickie when you are tired, like I do with my husband.

@Coolhand2 Because they can fuck off.

Welshgal85 Mon 07-Sep-20 21:45:14

You shouldn’t be doing it out of some sense of obligation and he should’ve be pestering you all the time. He sounds quite immature if I’m honest! What does he say when you talk to him about this? A relationship shouldn’t be all about one person all the time. He needs to respect you, your feelings and what you want

ilikemethewayiam Mon 07-Sep-20 21:45:32

Ugh! Absolutely no way. That’s ridiculous. My ex was like this, an utter sex pest. Slobbering and groping all hours of the night and morning. It just turned my stomach in the end. Your DH is in danger of pushing you away if he carries on. You need to have a talk with him.

kristyluna Mon 07-Sep-20 21:46:31

Sounds like it's too much for you and that's all that matters. 3/4 times a week, he's certainly not neglected. You need to have a convo that you don't appreciate him pestering every night. If he stops then great, if he doesn't then you have a more serious problem.
Certainly don't just have sex with him to appease him.

Dollyrocket Mon 07-Sep-20 21:47:17

He sounds like a vile sex pest 🤢

LilyLongJohn Mon 07-Sep-20 21:47:31

Way too much for me when the dc were young, actually even now we average once a week and our kids are older and often not in the house

Welshgal85 Mon 07-Sep-20 21:47:39

Sorry autocorrect! I meant he shouldn’t be pestering you of course

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel Mon 07-Sep-20 21:55:00

Why not agree to make it a quickie when you are tired, like I do with my husband

Why should she. Just because you let your husband coerce you into unwanted sex. She doesn't want fo

Ugh. Sex pest. Nothing is more unsexy then pestering for sex. You'll get The Ick, if you haven't already OP..

Kittykat93 Mon 07-Sep-20 21:57:38

Feel really sorry for the poster who has to agree to sex even when they don't want to. Do you really have that little respect for yourself? Op tell him to have a wank if he's that desperate.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth Mon 07-Sep-20 22:03:37

Prior to having children DP and i had sex every day sometimes more than once, 3 children later and its more like once a week, he would like sex more often but im a sahm to 3 under 5's and the eldest has asd so im knackered and he understands that, he never pesters for sex.

You need to talk to him and explain that the more he goes on about it the less you want to do it and please dont have a quickie just to keep him happy, if he loves and respects you he would be appalled to think your only doing it to please him.

MrsWooster Mon 07-Sep-20 22:03:50

Pestering is the quickest way to induce The Ick, and there’s no coming back from that. Be warned, OP’s husband...

troublingtimes Tue 08-Sep-20 00:10:55

Yuk. Sex pest!

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