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Talking at him rather than a conversation(6 Posts)
I feel like conversation with my DP never goes anywhere. I often find myself frustrated after mentioning something to him as it never leads to an actual conversation, him expressing his opinion or asking questions. We talk about surface level day to day crap but anything remotely interesting, deep or meaningful (at least to me) is just met with a one word answer. I feel like I’m just talking at him most of the time It’s not normal is it?
No, not normal. He’s not interested in your opinion.
Be interested to hear his side of it ?.
@VesperLynne I don’t nag him or bore him if that’s what you mean. I’m interested in a wide range of topics and talk about many different things but our conversations just never seem to go anywhere interesting.
How long have you been together? Could it be the case that you have grown apart?
It is shit being with someone who isn't interested in talking to you. I am not surprised you are upset by it. This sounds more like a housemate or colleague relationship than a romantic relationship.
I have been casually seeing someone who is very kind but is like this. It'll never lead anywhere. Nothing I say ever leads to conversation and it is so demoralising unless it's about him. He asks me few questions beyond office level chat.
Just a thought but what is DP's background? I ask because I spoke to an older, wiser friend about this who happens to be from another culture (I'm white british). She said that in her culture and some others (including that of the man I know), it is considered prying to ask people much beyond pleasantries. Conversation is led by people making statements and then each person adding their thoughts in. In the UK, it's kind of the opposite, it's seen as rude to talk to much and not ask the other person their views. It hadn't even crossed my mind, just seems to be one of those very subtle differences but there I was, waiting to be engaged more. Could this apply to you and DP?
If this doesn't apply, then I would be tempted to cut my losses. If you're someone for whom conversation is really important (I'm the same), this will never feel anything but frustrating. I would be thinking about finding someone who is more of a talker and who shows their interest in me and in the world more.
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