Any tips on how to heal from heartbreak? Unwanted divorce on horizon.
Hi, I have been on here before telling tales of woe about my long marriage to a serial adulterer. He just told me he wants an open marriage With the mistress as a very visible partner or a divorce. My choice as he put it. I didn’t choose to be with a serial adulter with a long-term mistress and I didn’t choose to marry a men who I would eventually divorce. So I have told him an open marriage is out of the question, because I don’t want it, and the hurt and humiliation is too much for me to bear. So my option is divorce and I have said this is the only option available and he agrees. Even though he’s a bastard, after nearly 30 years of marriage I feel heartbroken! And I’m frightened! I’ve never been alone before but that’s what staring me in the face as he walks into the sunset with his much younger woman ( 20 years younger). I feel angry, jealous, bitter, betrayed, desperately sad, lonely and most of all heartbroken. I feel a failure in all sorts of ways. Logically I know I’m not, but I can’t help these feelings. Have you any advice, tips, for getting me through The tough times to come. Thanks for your support and handholding.
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Any tips on how to heal from heartbreak? Unwanted divorce on horizon.
Motherof2pearls · 05/09/2020 15:47
My exh dumped me like a hot potato for someone after 14 yrs marriage. I met him at 18 so hadnt really been with anyone else. I was shocked & devastated. I saw him with OW and he was not discrete so made it more painful. He moved her into our home 6 weeks after I left. I collected some of my stuff he’d put in binbags from the garage. She watched as I collected them. He was horrible about splitting the money- it was like he became another person.
Its awful and you’ll have lots of bad days then the odd good one and you’ll suddenly start to realise you have more good than bad...
It takes time after a long marriage. Get some legal advice so you know what you are entitled. Do things that make you feel good, new clothes, haircut, facial. Take it day by day. You will be happy again. I’m glad my exh dumped me it was the making of me to be honest. Dont torture yourself (its hard not to) thinking about him and OW. For one thing, it wont last! He is the loser not you, you have been set free!
Take comfort in your friends. It does get better. I had some counselling which was really helpful. Stay on mumsnet it will help you so much 
He sounds absolutely awful. I know you can’t see it now OP because you love him and have been with him for 30 years, but you are lucky to get away from such a toxic human being. Just be glad he’s given you the opportunity to begin a new chapter away from all the drama his bad behaviour brings to your life. He’s someone else’s problem now, and in time you will realise your life is going to be so much happier without him.
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