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Does anyone else get this when dating?

(7 Posts)
flargo Thu 03-Sep-20 22:25:04

When you're dating, and meet someone nice, do you get the fear that they're going to decide they don't want to see you again? I'm on date number 6 and SO paranoid he's not that in to me, or doesn't want to see me anymore. This evening, he hasn't responded to a message I sent him at 5pm, and I'm convinced he's going to ghost me. I am so fucking paranoid and I hate it! It is sucking the fun out of dating...

OP’s posts: |
Fairycake2 Thu 03-Sep-20 22:29:56

If I ever find someone I like enough to get to date 6 with, I'll let you know 😂

Lalalabrador Thu 03-Sep-20 22:32:28

Yes me! I think because it has happened to me before Im hyper vigilant and wonder if it then becomes self fulfilling

flargo Thu 03-Sep-20 22:35:17

It's happened to me before too. Ghosted after 10 DATES!

OP’s posts: |
squishee Thu 03-Sep-20 22:57:57

Ghosting is awful behaviour (I've been on the receiving end of it too). You've dodged a bullet there. Try not to let it colour your view of every other candidate.

After having been ghosted, I had that fear in the early days with someone new. It turned out to be unfounded and he's now my husband.

ALittleBitConfused1 Fri 04-Sep-20 14:03:38

I use to be like that, but I went through a pretty shit time a couple of years back and something clicked, shifted.
Now I get very 'whatever'. I know I'm a great catch and I've learned to take me time and decide whether 'they have what I need/want' before getting emotionally invested. It really has changed my perception and I feel like I hold the power now. If they do ghost or let me down, it's fine, they weren't worthy of me and I find it so much easier to just move on unhurt, its just a lesson and another wrong man eliminated.

TeaOneSugar Fri 04-Sep-20 15:14:50

You have to find a way to chill though, nothing will encourage ghosting more than you giving off a needy vibe or coming across as untrusting.

If you're at this stage you should be still on the dating apps, taking to other men maybe going on a few first dates, in all honesty it's likely he is, it'll distract you from waiting for replies etc. I was still looking and chatting until me and DP had "the conversation".

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