Hi all
I just had my third miscarriage last week a mmc at 11.5 weeks with medical management.
My first mmc was before my two children (5&3) and my second was just before my third miscarriage. We have always said we wanted 3 children.
It's been a terrible time but I feel I need a rainbow baby to get me through this storm. I feel like I have had the excitement and possibility and it's been snatched away from me.
My husband has said today he doesn't want to try again, he doesn't want to go through this again and has a lot on at work so doesn't need the stress. I know it's all raw and I want to give him time but I do feel that my thoughts and feelings haven't been taken into consideration at all.
I just feel so emotional about it all and it's really upset me. I have felt very much on my own through out it all. All the appointments and scans I have attended on my own.
Has anyone else been through this?
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Husband doesn't want to ttc after mmc
krj2608 · 03/09/2020 12:56
I dont think you should stop trying altogether, what a rude thing to say 
OP just give him time, he's hurting too as are you, when youre both ready it's worth having another go
so sorry for your losses 
It takes 2 TTC but only one to veto it.
you have 2 DC. you had 3 miscarriages. Sometimes, you need to focus on what you have, not on what you want. Maybe you should try to focus on what you have but if he doesn't want a 3rd, you will ultimately have to accept it (or look elsewhere).
Why are people telling OP to count herself lucky she has children and encouraging her to stop TTC altogether.
My niece is 10 and has a rare physical disability. She is my brother's and his ex girlfriend's first child. The mother had no history of miscarriages and doctor's can't work out what's caused it. After genes being looked into and scans, they came to the conclusion it was just meant to be as my brother noe his girlfriend had any links to this disability.
They have gone on to have another child with no disabilities together, and the mother has had a son with no disabilities with her boyfriend.
So using a story of a having child with a physical disability after many miscarriages as a reason to stop TTC is mindboggling 
Yes, many families do have children with disabilities but not all of them are a result of continous miscarriages.
OP please don't give up hope from some of these posts trying to put you off having another child. Yes you are lucky to have 2 children but if you want a third and can provide for a third child then you should definitely try for another.
Just wait until you and DP are ready, even if it's a year or more from now.
But please, never feel selfish for wanting a third after already having 2 children just because some people struggle to have one.
I am currently TTC for my first child and so far it's been 6 months with no luck whatsoever. But i'd never tell another women to "consider herself lucky you already have 2" if they are struggling to come to terms with a miscarriage.
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