Help! What’s bothering me is not just that he had an affair but what he did.
So we met this woman at a conference last year Nov. they hit it off and as he was voted onto the conference committee she told him about an upcoming conference March 2020
And I said no problem at the time...kicking myself there.
Then i noticed she started messaging and phoning him constantly!!! I asked him if I should be concerned and he said no. I get upset as it continues.
Fast forward to Feb 2020 I find out that she came to our home town and he didn’t tell me. She posted photos on her FB account and they looked like a frigging couple!!! I confronted him and he of course lied and said he knew how much I didn’t like her that is why he didn’t tell me she was here. Those photos came down very quickly.
March 2020 he goes up to the conference and i couldn’t sleep cause my sixth sense was telling me something was wrong.
April with Covid he is still constantly talking to her...he even messaged her next to me in bed at 1am to ask if she was still up!!!! I blew up and said he had to make a choice between me and her. He said I was being ridiculous and they are just friends and he isn’t doing that. I begged him saying he was hurting me. He says he stopped but then find out he sent her a balloons for her birthday.
Anyways found the evidence to prove I wasn’t craZy like he said I was, that I was seeing smoke where there was no fire
Found out:
- Feb - he rented her an Airbnb 10mins away from our house!!! He said she stayed with a friend on the other side of town.
- naked photos of her in his phone
- photos of them kissing
- what’s app chats where he said if he leaves his wife he wants a proper relationship with her and that he loves her
- bought her not only balloons for her birthday and said it was for her son but a cake
- a Kate spade bag which he told me and the husband was for my birthday (July) which i never got
- dress and god knows what else
- emails where he told her he could speak to her and then was emailing her to say he loves her and misses her and wants her to be happy
- Pinterest/Instagram they are sending photos of engagement rings and wedding dresses!!!
- I actually thought our relationship was getting stronger than ever
- we were still intimate while he was having this affair
Call the woman’s husband who had found evidence the day before of lovey dovey messages he sent to her.
Confront him without the evidence he denied and even gets her to write WhatsApp message to me saying she was happily married and not to put my problems on her.
So confronted him with the evidence. He said they only kissed nothing else.....the one day and that the felt guilty for it so messaged me afterwards yet it seems he wasn’t feeling too guilty to fool around with her in the car.
Then I find a long love note from her saying how she remember their first kiss and when they first made love...she confessed to the husband that they had sex constantly which my husband still denies.
She also sent photos of love notes he had written to her the day he left....
I’m angry
I hate him but love him
I look at him and just think of what he did with her
I look at him and want him to hurt as much as I am
And what gets me is his ex wife and his girlfriend before me both cheated on him multiple times!
I don’t know how to move on
I don’t know how to stop thinking of what he did.
I had already accepted that they slept together despite what he says I know they did and the evidence supports.
We both are trying but I can’t keep thinking about it.
Who looks at engagement rings unless it was really serious right?!
Thanks!