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Struggling to end relationship(5 Posts)
My 7 year relationship just isn't working out for various reasons. I know I need to end it but I feel so upset and hesitant about it and we're stuck in this weird limbo. I just don't know how to push past this and get used to being on my own. We don't live together or have children together so it should be easy but it's not.
It will be a huge adjustment going from being with someone to being on your own, but there is a lot of excitement from being single (even though it might not seem like it). You need to do what’s right for you, get your independence back, treat yourself to new clothes, see friends, meditate, go walking, the world is your oyster. Don’t let one relationship define your value or worth. I’ve been there and done that, and leaving relationships pushed me on to something even better, even though it didn’t feel like it at the time 😊
That being said, if it’s something you want to fight for and work through, then do what YOU want not what other people tell you is the right thing to do!
Ask for a bit of space, or go and see family (or say you are!) for a week or two first. It'll be easier to finish things after not being in contact for that time.
Remember - human beings (generally!) deserve to be in a relationship where they are loved and wanted. If you don't love someone the right thing to do is to let them go so that they can find someone who does.
I imagine there are two ways to end a relationship.
Abrupt and total cut off, minimum explanation or
Reduction of contact and a chat about stagnation, a desire for personal growth and ambition, restlessness and a change of feelings from passion to a sisterly type caring.
The first is brutal to be on the receiving end of.
The second can be mistaken for, if the other party stopped doing something/started doing something there is some hope of keeping the relationship going.
You do have to be clear.
This is your life ticking away.
I suppose there is another way, make yourself so dull and boring that he looks elsewhere?
When you fantasise the break up, what do you think of?
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