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How to accept that it's over

(3 Posts)
Stressedup Mon 31-Aug-20 11:58:07

I recently had to leave my home with my 7 month old because my partner was having an emotional affair (though he strongly denied any wrongdoing he did admit it "checks some of the boxes" of an EA).
I started a thread about it previously though I dont know how to link it.

So I left. I was gonna stay at my mums for a month but it's just a tiny tiny house to be in with a baby so I asked him if he would consider moving out of our house while we sorted things out. He said no. Its rented and we're both on the tenancy. But I cant wait around for him while the baby and I are squeezed in here, it's not fair to the baby.
He then told me that he doesnt love me but is "willing to try" to love me and accused me of years of emotional neglect. I told him if he doesnt love me then I didnt see the point.

Even now, I'm having to apply for housing and starting to look at having a life on my own with the baby I still cant believe it.

He's turned into someone I don't recognize at all and he blames it all on me. His mother says I should give him space to 'miss' me but I took the baby and moved 500 miles if he doesnt miss me and is telling me he doesn't love me why should I have to put my life on hold for him?

I feel like I need a slap to snap out of it. He's no good for us and I still love him and it sucks.

Handhelds appreciated sad

OP’s posts: |
Stressedup Mon 31-Aug-20 12:00:39

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4002444-Is-this-an-emotional-affair

My last thread, hopefully that works.

OP’s posts: |
Likeariverthat Mon 07-Sep-20 21:59:35

Here's a (belated) handhold OP smile

It's an oddity of forums that sometimes posts just seem to slip through the net - if I were you I'd post your above message as an update on your previous post as then the posters who gave you such fantastic support before are more likely to see it.

I'm really sorry to read that you're finding things so hard. I think it's quite common for men to "turn" once their partner stops putting up with their bad behaviour. Telling you that he's "willing to try" to love you sounds like some weird sort of test that he wants to subject you to. I'd be extremely wary of that.

Do update your original post (or post a separate update again) and hopefully this time more people will see it smile

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