Encounter with ex reasons for divorce

[damnthisvirusandmarriage]

Just a wee bit of an update.

Just been with ex husband so he can see girls. He was being very controlling of them and says he has the right to parent as he likes as he’s had advice. Also said he’s put in to divorce me for unreasonable behaviour. I’m absolutely gobsmacked.

In other news, his dad said to one of my builders that I’m a psycho. Police will speak to builder and go round speak to him.

I just despair. I’m exhausted from a few hours of him and his excessive and shouty controlling parenting

He’s saying it’s 2020 and he will get whatever custody he likes unsupervised which is one night a week and every other weekend.

Also, he has managed somehow to get himself on the committee of local football team in order to see our eldest child who might start at that team. And has delighted in telling me about his really good friends who manage the others.

Honestly feel like I’ve been up all night on an emotional rollercoaster.

Is this stuff right?

How can I make it stop. I just can’t cope with it.

[damnthisvirusandmarriage]

Anyone?

[ChaChaCha2012]

Is there a history of abuse? I'm not sure where the police come into it.

[Hardlyworking]

Sounds fair to me. He is well within his rights to push for 50/50 custody. Unless there's a huge backstory we're not hearing he has equal parental rights as you.

Unreasonable behaviour is the most common grounds for divorce, as it requires no evidence. I wouldn't worry about that as surely the divorce is what you want to? If he's filing for it he has to pay for it!

[LittleHootie]

Sounds like there is some context we are missing. It doesnt sound unreasonable from this post.

Why would the police speak to the builder? Not the polices job to clarify who is and isnt a psycho, and why would the builder pay attention to a random dig at a client?

Sounds like you are stressed and hyper sensitive to his behaviour. Try to detach and accept he still has a parenting role.

[MitziK]

Change football team. Or sport altogether if football isn't 100% his only 'thing'.

[millymollymoomoo]

Well he is allowed to parent as he sees fit ( as long as it’s not abusive or dangerous etc)
Re contact 1 night a week, eow and half holidays is pretty standard
What’s the back story ?

[AllsortsofAwkward]

what's he done wrong?

[Backtoschoolnotsoonenough]

My exh told anyone who would listen he has won custody of my dc...
He got no contact at all.
Op I am sure you know full well your exh's words are utter shite..
See a solicitor and go about it the right way.
Keep a diary /timeline of your relationship /break up /contact he has had so far. You are not obliged to be in his company..

[DaVinyl]

OP, can you link to your other post about your EH and DV so that people can understand the history?