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am i being a mug?

(6 Posts)
cpd865 Fri 28-Aug-20 14:04:14

I've been chatting to a girl recently over the last few months - we enjoyed chatting during lockdown and things got a bit sexual. We've spoken a bit less in the last few weeks due to my own personal mental health issues and I took a few weeks to sort myself out. Now I feel like having something with this girl, seeing her a few times perhaps. We were texting the other day and things seemed ok. Yesterday, 24 hours passed and she hadn't even opened my message yet she had been online a lot. so i sent another couple of messages, one starting a conversation and one asking if things were ok. i get the message literally one minute later "Jesus, I'm busy, leave it out" to which I said that's fine, just let me know would be nice (we are not mind readers after all) to which I get a very sarcy "normally when people don't reply it means they're busy".

I haven't replied and I don't know what to do next. I'm almost sitting here waiting for a nice message from her. Do I apologise? Do I message in a few days? I don't want to be a mug because she's been a bit nasty but where do I go from here? I do really like her and we've had a lot of chemistry before this but she does have a bit of a tendency to go hot and cold. She was so interested before which really confuses me.

OP’s posts: |
cpd865 Fri 28-Aug-20 14:37:30

She keeps coming online and I want to scream. So frustrated

OP’s posts: |
Opentooffers Fri 28-Aug-20 14:45:19

So you make it sound like it's ok for you to reduce communication because of your MH issues for a few weeks, but now you're feeling better, you're expecting it to pick up where you left off. I don't think you can expect that, and she hasn't been waiting around while you sorted yourself out. She's likely now being as cool to you as you have been the past few weeks, you have to accept that really and not push it as effectively, you are starting from scratch again.

Thingsdogetbetter Fri 28-Aug-20 14:48:33

Woooooo, calm down. You were texting and sexting, then YOU pulled back for several weeks and now YOU'VE decided you want to go full steam ahead and she's supposed to just slot into place again immediately. As far as I can see you're the one who blow cold, even if it was for mh reasons. You can't just snap your fingers now and insist she goes full on again.

She has every right to be online and not respond to you. Sending multiple texts with a needy 'is everything ok?' Is too much within 24 hours. Her reply was snappy, but so was yours.

Maybe she WAS interested, but you cooled off and she's changed her mind, and demanding replies/attention within 24 hours isn't going to endear you to her.

Have you even meet yet?

Opentooffers Fri 28-Aug-20 14:49:39

Btw, the ball is in her court now, she will either contact you when she's feeling like it or not. Meantime, don't wait around, keep yourself busy, talk to others as she likely is.

SimoneAlone Fri 28-Aug-20 15:03:04

If someone wants to stay in touch with you they will. She hadn't replied or opened your message either 1. Because she's busy with other things and the world doesn't revolve around you. 2. She has moved on and no longer wants to communicate with you.

When you say 'girl', are you referring to a teenager? How old are you @cpd865?

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