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Pregnant and left 😔

(3 Posts)
BEESY90 Fri 28-Aug-20 08:44:04

Hi Everyone.
I have quite a long thread and really hope someone will listen.
I am pregnant with my 4th baby. My 3 children are older in high school. I finally thought I had found my “one”. We were taking a “see if it happens” approach. We weren’t sure if it was likely as I have PCOS. After many months it did! But when it did he left me immediately. I have had immense pressure to abort the baby. Comments I daren’t repeat they are so vile. He told me “he didn’t think it would happen because of my issues” some comments have been so hurtful I have felt suicidal at times. Luckily that has passed and I have found My strength again to not let another human make me feel so low.

Unfortunately he was the bread winner as I was made redundant during this covid episode. I have started a new job this week though so financially I should be fine now.

I do suffer from epilepsy so I take medication. There is a small risk of malformation to the baby. I have a team who are going to be keeping an eye on things almost weekly from what I understand.

I have seen the baby on ultrasound. At the moment I just feel so numb from everything and scared.

Do you think this is normal!?
I guess I really hoped I was going to get my fairytale ending as cheesy as it sounds. My life has been a struggle. Now I am going to be a single mum to 4.

I have a great relationship with my 3 children now. I was a young mum and its always been us. They are looking forward to the baby and have said i never needed anyone to raise them. They are very sweet

OP’s posts: |
SandyY2K Fri 28-Aug-20 09:41:32

As you have the support of your kids, just proceed and do it on your own.

If your ex wants to be involved as a dad then he has to approach you...otherwise assume he doesn't and get child support.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Bunnymumy Fri 28-Aug-20 10:16:45

He has unfortunately, showed you exactly who he is. He never wanted a baby. He just wanted sex without protection. And probably always knew that if you did get pregnant he would just be horrible and try to manipulate you into aborting.

Honestly op I would think long and hard about this. About whether you really want to be tied to this person for the next 18 years. Because he is not a good man. And he will make coparenting very difficult, I have no doubt.

That being said, it sounds like your older kids will be of good support smile Then again, there exams will be coming up over the next few years and you might find tensions become a bit fraught with a baby in the house. I was a nice kid but honestly, I think I would really have resented a new baby in the home as a teenager.

I think you need to sit down and have a chat with them definately.

And if you have the baby...maybe don't put the fathers name on the birth certificate.

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