Apologies, I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this. This is a long one! I've also posted on the Fostering forum but that also doesn't feel quite right.
I've been supporting a friend over the last few years, let's call her A. A is incredibly vulnerable and has relied quite a lot on the support of myself and social work.
A gave birth to her first child a few years ago. They both lived with me for the first month of baby's life and then moved out together with A's partner (baby's daddy). They lasted two months before baby being taken into kinship and being looked after by A's mum. Less than a year later, baby had passed away in kinship- I'm not going to delve into that because the details are horrible, but suffice to say it was the end of A having any family contact.
Fast forward to now. A is heavily pregnant. Has no family support on her side, partner (same partner) is on remand in jail for a violent crime and A refuses to speak to her partner's family because of issues in the past. A has other friends however they are very unstable themselves and I would probably be classified as her most stable and longest friend.
I have been supporting A through emotionally, financially and practically for years but really have stepped it up when she got pregnant again because she needed it. Social Work identified me as a place she could stay on weekends so that she has a regular contact with a safe person other than social work, as well as potential respite if needed. There was also talk of me being 'The Person' that does Kinship if it all goes wrong again.
Last night A decided she no longer wants me involved. This is due to social work knowing who I am- I think that scared her. Since then I've been up worrying about what happens next. Who will support her? If it goes wrong will baby go into foster care rather than kinship? Given I'm a friend rather than family I'm not really expecting to hear from social work again. Will they be ok? I am really really worried about them both and could do with some reassurance.
As a side-note I'm also feeling pretty upset and used, however I understand her reaction and I'm dealing with my own feelings on this.
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6 replies
purplechairandcat · 28/08/2020 07:18
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