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How to help my sister

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firestarterdumdedum Sun 23-Aug-20 16:22:24

My sister separated from her husband back in February and he moved out of the marital home in May. He had an affair 5 years ago but she forgave him and took him back.

My sister is disabled and relays heavily on care. Her ex said he got fed up of having to do everything. Work full time, look and care for the their DD and also do most of the care for my sister. So he started to pull away and spent more time at work and stopped helping care for my sister as much. It all got to much for him. I can understand that but he also knew what he was getting into when he married my sister.

The divorce is going through and he has given her the house and all the possessions in it, plus he is still paying for an operation she had last year.

But my sister is obsessed with the thought he left her for someone else. She can't accept he was just fed up with life and didn't want to live that way anymore. She is constantly texting and ringing him, stalking his social media. It's even got to the point where she is making friends and family do drive bys at his new house. Using the excuse their DD forgot something so needs to drop off just so she can have a stoop around. My mother and other sister indulge her but I want to help her accept its over and to stop in other words being a bunny boiler.

I've mentioned therapy says she doesn't need it. I dread to think what she'll be like when he does meet someone new. Does anyone have any advice please.

OP’s posts: |
tickertyboo Sun 23-Aug-20 16:43:01

Your sister is just being human. To an outside perspective this behaviour looks unhinged, but for her, this is something that she has to go through in order to come out the other side. We all act in an irrational way when there's emotional and painful turbulence in our lives. It will pass at some point.

Just being there and listening to her is the most caring thing that you can do for her.

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