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Fiance watching "school girl" porn

(33 Posts)
Twinkles10 Fri 21-Aug-20 23:51:22

I was in the car yesterday with my Fiance and clicked on media to play music from my phone as we were driving on a rural road and kept losing the radio.

On the screen read a video (clearly the last video played on his phone as it was his linked via bluetooth) "teen school girl (x y z)".

I dont know why but I'm freaking out over this. I dont know if this is a normal fetish or if I should be worried with the teen? Its been niggling since, am I being niave?

OP’s posts: |
converseandjeans Fri 21-Aug-20 23:52:44

I think it's a fairly common fantasy but not especially nice (in my opinion anyway)

PinkSparkleUnicorns Fri 21-Aug-20 23:57:59

There are loads of 'sexy school girl' costumes. Like Halloween etc where adults wear them. I think it must be a very common fantasy.

I'll be flamed on mumsnet for this but personally it wouldn't bother me from what you've said

Greenmarmalade Sat 22-Aug-20 00:00:32

I wouldn’t be ok with this. I have two teenage daughters, so I’d find it particularly disturbing.

Trust your reaction: it’s not a desirable thing for a partner to be choosing to watch and get off on.

BillywilliamV Sat 22-Aug-20 00:01:54

As the mother of teenage girls, this sort of stuff turns my stomach!
Wouldn’t put up with it for a second!

Twinkles10 Sat 22-Aug-20 00:02:49

I know the costume is common, however, I had a horrible niggling feeling that hasn't shifted! Im 25, for context.

I think its the "teen" that's not sitting right.

OP’s posts: |
CoffeeRunner Sat 22-Aug-20 00:05:13

Have you ever visited Pornhub or similar OP?

I have - and the “most popular” videos all had “teen” or “school girl” in the title. The women in the thumbnails all looked much older but one can never be sure. I was left believing that, yes, this is something pretty commonly searched for!

See also stepmum/stepson, stepdad/stepdaughter etc. All a bit WTF really isn’t it?

Greenmarmalade Sat 22-Aug-20 00:09:16

You can have your own boundaries, and this can be one of them. It doesn’t matter whether other people think this is acceptable- it’s not acceptable to you.

Plus, consider why you have that feeling. What are you worried about. Really think about it, as you might already have deeper concerns.

Separatedat41 Sat 22-Aug-20 00:34:11

Talk to him OP

Skyla2005 Sat 22-Aug-20 07:37:31

If your feeling upset by it then no it’s not ok and I would feel the same as you I think it’s Pervy

Didntwanttochangemyname Sat 22-Aug-20 07:45:06

I second what @coffeerunner said, on pornhub etc every video has words like 'school girl, stepmom, stepsister' in the title. It's click bait, but I think it's also the simplest (to a porn watcher) way to describe the rough age of the women in the film in a 'fantasy' way.
Set your boundaries where you feel comfortable.

Hyperfish101 Sat 22-Aug-20 07:45:24

Ugh. Wanting to see teenagers having sex is not a fetish. Just think what that’s about. Mint adult women.

As for porn hub. ...,one of their biggest hits was was a teen video which was an actual film of a teen being taped. Terms like ‘teen girl destroyed’ being common searches.

It’s horrible. At the very least I would be having a conversation with him.

Hyperfish101 Sat 22-Aug-20 07:45:53

*not

restingrudeface Sat 22-Aug-20 07:51:41

I couldn't have a future with this man, what if you have children with him - girls, would you feel comfortable knowing he gets off watching (what is made out to be) teenage girls?
I know it's a common fantasy blah blah blah but I couldn't continue with the relationship.

islandislandisland Sat 22-Aug-20 08:02:33

I think even if teen in this context means 18/19, so a consenting adult, I have met very few women of this age that I would judge as fully aware of what they're doing and the consequences of so I would still view this as exploitative and gross. But I think this is part of the lure for some men, rather than them looking physically young and attractive, it's the element of innocence and power/control suggested.

YinuCeatleAyru Sat 22-Aug-20 08:26:33

do not marry a man whose sexual fantasies involve under age girls.
do not get pregnant by him, do not have sex with him as any sex has a risk of contraception going wrong.

it doesn't matter that the women in the porn are clearly older. the fantasy it is evoking in his brain is picturing a child. a normal healthy reaction to seeing an image of sexual acts involving a child is revulsion and anger on behalf of the child. someone who is turned on by such images is bad news, and would make a terrible father to children of either sex. get him out of your life.

upupandaway87 Sat 22-Aug-20 09:04:20

Ah op this would finish me . I hate porn anyways . But the teen school girl is not nice . So really it's saying that he fantasies about young school girls ? I'd tell him what you seen. See this is what pisses me off ! How men get away with it because it's just what they like . Can you imagine what people would think if women were googling or watching porn videos titled teen school boy? We would be classed as pedofiles !

p0ptart Sat 22-Aug-20 13:57:32

Many of the replies are extremely alarmist. OP assuming your fiancé is otherwise a decent person, this discovery alone would not be a deal breaker for me. He might not have actively searched for this - I think things get suggested, like on YouTube - and even if he did, fantasies are very different from reality, and what you fantasise about you may not necessarily want to do in real life.

LilyWater Sat 22-Aug-20 14:03:29

Oh dear. Why are you even having to ask? Of course it's sick for a grown man to be fantasising sexually about young teenage children. Please trust your instincts and get rid of him.

Hiccupiscal Sat 22-Aug-20 14:13:07

p0ptart

Many of the replies are extremely alarmist. OP assuming your fiancé is otherwise a decent person, this discovery alone would not be a deal breaker for me. He might not have actively searched for this - I think things get suggested, like on YouTube - and even if he did, fantasies are very different from reality, and what you fantasise about you may not necessarily want to do in real life.

This.. i have used porn in the past, and things that have worked for me, have surprisingly been things that I wouldnt want to do IRL.
Does anything else concern you with your partner? If this is stand alone, It personally wouldn't fuss me too much.
If you do have a look at pornhub or the like, you'll see many videos are titled this way, and most watched, acted by women clearly not "school girls"

It all depends where you deal breakers lie, IMO.
An open discussion with him, may be required.

LilyWater Sat 22-Aug-20 14:14:48

p0ptart

Many of the replies are extremely alarmist. OP assuming your fiancé is otherwise a decent person, this discovery alone would not be a deal breaker for me. He might not have actively searched for this - I think things get suggested, like on YouTube - and even if he did, fantasies are very different from reality, and what you fantasise about you may not necessarily want to do in real life.

How on earth can a man who selects and chooses to indulge in sexual fantasies about teenage children be a "decent person"??

What a strange argument that just because what you fantasise about is not necessarily what you want to do in real life means it's fine. These are real people being objectified and subjected (and likely exploited) to enable someone to indulge all these fantasies. Apart from that, the fantasy itself is sickening and wrong. We don't have the same reasoning for paedophiles who "only" watch child porn and don't want to carry out child abuse...

Anothernick Sat 22-Aug-20 14:27:19

As others have said, teen does not imply underage, a lot of legal porn claims to involve teens and men who look for it are not expecting to see anything illegal.

A lot of guys watch porn, as long as you are happy with your sex life this is not something I'd be too concerned about. It just wank material to most of us, has no impact on our relationships with the SO.

hammie46i Sat 22-Aug-20 14:51:03

I couldn't be with a man who watched porn, especially not teenaged porn or porn that was made to look like it's with a teenager. Gross and no wonder it niggles at you.

imissthesouth Sat 22-Aug-20 15:03:40

I'd not worry OP it's a pretty common fantasy, if you look on these porn sites the "teens" are usually petite women who look a little younger. Maybe discuss it with him though?

imissthesouth Sat 22-Aug-20 15:05:37

upupandaway87

Ah op this would finish me . I hate porn anyways . But the teen school girl is not nice . So really it's saying that he fantasies about young school girls ? I'd tell him what you seen. See this is what pisses me off ! How men get away with it because it's just what they like . Can you imagine what people would think if women were googling or watching porn videos titled teen school boy? We would be classed as pedofiles !


@upupandaway87
you'd be surprised. there's quite a lot of "teen" boys with teachers which is a common search too, normally from teen boys with a fantasy for their teachers

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