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Should dh and I have the pin code to each other's phone?

(93 Posts)
bluebellll Fri 21-Aug-20 21:33:24

I don't have a reason to believe my husband would do anything untrustworthy but for some reason it's bugging me that I don't know the pin on his phone. I wouldn't mind if he had mine. I would like to hear your opinions?


OP’s posts: |
CodenameVillanelle Fri 21-Aug-20 21:35:45

Of course you don't need it. Don't be so weird.

HeeeeyDuggee Fri 21-Aug-20 21:38:42

You don’t need it but also in my opinion there’s no reason not to have it either.

Loads of posters will tell your it’s weird and controlling or invasion of privacy. DH and I have each other’s ... I don’t snoop on his phone and as far as I’m aware he doesn’t snoop on mine. I’ve got nothing to hide anyway so couldn’t care less if he looks. We often use whoever’s phone is closest to google something or take photos of the kids but we have LSS codes to stop our eldest playing bloody Pokémon go non stop

user1471442488 Fri 21-Aug-20 21:38:46


RollercoasterRaver Fri 21-Aug-20 21:40:11

I think you should know the codes but just for 'just in case' moments where you need to use the phone. Me and my husband have really obvious codes ie birthdays but never check each other's phones. We have a couple friend who do and I find it awful and mortifying!

I mean my DH knows I whinge about him to my friends when he's been a rubbish husband and he'd rather not read about it grin

JE17 Fri 21-Aug-20 21:40:58

I'd think it was odd if DH didn't want me to know his PIN. I pick up his phone and use it to quickly check something if it's the nearest one to hand, and vice versa.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake Fri 21-Aug-20 21:40:59

I'm on the fence with this one. Me and dh know the codes to each other's phones. But I don't think it is necessarily a problem to not know each other's codes

FATEdestiny Fri 21-Aug-20 21:42:14

DH and I use the same pin code. We also have both our fingerprints registered on both phones.

Have you asked DH what his pin is? If he refuses to tell you conversationally, I'd be dubious.

ClementineWoolysocks Fri 21-Aug-20 21:44:12

We know each other's pin code but we never pick up the others phone and unlock it, it's for an emergency situation only.

GrumpyHoonMain Fri 21-Aug-20 21:44:18

I personally don’t share mine because I have private chats with family and friends that I don’t want to share with DH. DH shares his because he needs me to google stuff for him while he’s driving.

LouiseTrees Fri 21-Aug-20 21:44:24

We have each other’s PINs. We’ve just always had them because it’s easier to pick up whoever’s is closest to make a call if you don’t have a home landline. Dunno how you’d broach the subject if it wasn’t like that organically though.

bluebellll Fri 21-Aug-20 21:44:49

@FATEdestiny so we used to both have fingerprint access to each other's phone. And when we did he would never leave his phone lying around. Recently we both got new phones which only open with Face ID and now he leaves his phone everywhere. Maybe that's why it's bugging me. I honestly don't think he would cheat and it's not even so I can look through his phone . I never have done. But just not knowing is bugging me. How should I bring it up without sounding weird about it?

OP’s posts: |
Incrediblytired Fri 21-Aug-20 21:45:16

You don’t need it

Cillmantain Fri 21-Aug-20 21:46:44

Of course you don't need it.
What makes you think you do ?

thistimelastweek Fri 21-Aug-20 21:47:28

We have the same pin. But we never ever look at each others phone. Like we never ever open each others mail.

DBML Fri 21-Aug-20 21:47:35

My husband and I use each other’s phones and also have one another’s pass codes.

I actually know all his passwords full stop and even his PIN number.

He tells me them so he doesn’t forget 🤷‍♀️

So it’s not that I think we should share pass codes, but I also don’t see there being anything odd about sharing them either (with a spouse, not the world that is).

Climbingallthetrees Fri 21-Aug-20 21:48:01

It’s bloody handy if your DH dies unexpectedly.

bluebellll Fri 21-Aug-20 21:48:42

@Climbingallthetrees morbid but kind of made me laugh 😂

OP’s posts: |
Oblomov20 Fri 21-Aug-20 21:48:59

We all know each others pins here. I need ds's to use my phone, google maps in the car to find a friends house or a football match location.

islandislandisland Fri 21-Aug-20 21:49:34

I don't know his but he inputs it in front of me so I guess I don't need it because he obviously isn't hiding it from me. Vice versa. I could bother to remember it but in 5 years I don't recall ever needing to use each others phone. Apparently it's the in laws landline and I ought to know shoot me grin

KitchenConfidential Fri 21-Aug-20 21:50:15

And when we did he would never leave his phone lying around. Recently we both got new phones which only open with Face ID and now he leaves his phone everywhere.
So basically the crux of this is that you don’t trust him? Or are at least suspicious of his behaviour?

Mum2jenny Fri 21-Aug-20 21:50:54

I know my dh’s pin and I do not ever lock my phone so he can look at it anytime.

AgeLikeWine Fri 21-Aug-20 21:51:41

I haven’t got the code to DP’s phone, and he most certainly hasn’t got the code to mine.

It’s called ‘trust’.

bluebellll Fri 21-Aug-20 21:51:44

@KitchenConfidential maybe no point in lying about how I feel.

OP’s posts: |
TwaPehs Fri 21-Aug-20 21:51:59

DH & I have each others - for ease of googling, or letting a kid use a spare phone to watch a quick video or whatever. But we don't go snooping around.

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