So depressed after leaving emotionally abusive relationship

[Delilahfunke]

Just feel empty and alone.
Even though I know it’s for the best the sadness is unreal. Trying to move on but can’t eat or sleep.

Anyone else been there?

[Buzzer3555]

Yes i have and its painful. I know its a platitude but things will get better xx

[Delilahfunke]

Thankyou x

I also have a teenage daughter who can be quite verbally abuse to me - this is extremely triggering for me as I’m very sensitive considering the circumstances.

It’s not her fault ...typical teenager and fortunately she hasn’t witnessed anything. However I feel like I’m very aware of her being abusive and worried.

I Just want to move on and get over it.

[Buzzer3555]

Perhaps as you get your confidence back you can be a bit more assertive with your daughter?

[Fightingback16]

Give it a little while and the sadness will evolve to something else, for me it’s anger. Anger is better then sadness as it propels you forward, it will come when it’s ready. I’m afraid it’s a grieving process, even in abusive relationships so you can’t avoid it. Just remind yourself why you left!

[Delilahfunke]

Yes I agree but right now I go from sadness one minute to anger the next .

I’m so angry at him yet I start crying randomly.

[Fightingback16]

It will fade, once you realise what he was and what he did and then it will become just anger then hoof acceptance. I did a lot of research to really understand what was happening and the more I researched the more my brain focused on one emotion. Your sadness is for a person who does not exist and for a relationship that was a set up. It’s an emotion born out of manipulation, its an unconscious thing but it will get better with time.

[Fightingback16]

*hopefully not hoof!

[Delilahfunke]

I’ve been reading a lot about it but still feel confused.

I think I feel embarrassed- I’m a strong person and yet this happened to me.

Luckily i stood up to him and called him out on his behaviour and i feel i can because i’m 38 and wont take that shit.

But at the same time i didnt Even realise it was abuse until later in the relationship. That’s Why i feel so sad i think.

[Fightingback16]

Neither did I, neither did any of the thousands of other women who have been caught. 12 years I lasted without any clue whatsoever. It was only when I reached the end of my mental capacity that I left. I have a Masters degree, thought myself to be reasonably intelligent but I still got caught. Its awful but you got out. They are masters of manipulation and you are always caught on the back foot, too busy trying to process one thing when another happens. You got caught, it could have been anyone, but it’s over now and you should feel brave!

[Isolatedizzy]

Do you think talking to someone would help? Some counselling might help you work through it and put it all to bed!

Well done on getting out, give yourself a bit of a break, be kind to yourself.

[Delilahfunke]

I can’t seem to talk about it without crying

...makes me feel weak .

Like i want to But can’t.