Some background. Both me and best friend are females, I’m straight, she’s bisexual. We’re both in relationships with men. I have known her for almost 3 years, we bonded over having similar mental health issues. I’ve never had a friend who ‘gets me’ the way she does. I don’t have many friends at all. She’s due to be maid of honour for me at my wedding next year.
So to the problem. Two nights ago me and my fiancé had her and her boyfriend round for drinks. Friend has a history of being flirty with people when drunk, she wants the attention she wants to make her boyfriend jealous. She admits to this. She never gets the reaction from her boyfriend that she’s like, he isn’t the jealous type and has said he’d like to see her with other people. They don’t have an open relationship, though she does work in the sex industry and he’s ok with that.
She pulled me aside and said she was upset that I told her I didn’t want to see pictures of her doing girl on girl stuff for work, a few weeks ago. She felt I was judging her. I tried really hard to explain I wasn’t judging, it just isn’t my thing. She then went onto say that she found me attractive but wouldn’t try to disrespect my relationship. But she did. She tried to kiss me a few times, I gave her a peck and tried to laugh/brush it off. Then she asked me to leave the toilet door open so she could watch. Again, I laughed it off trying to make light of it but also being really drunk I didn’t react in the way I should have. Then she used the toilet after me and I won’t go into more detail but it was completely inappropriate what she was doing/trying to get me to watch.
After that I went to find our partners and tried to ignore what happened. She playfully tried to kiss me again but I don’t think either of our partners saw. Then she fell asleep.
I woke up yesterday feeling really weird, a bit grubby and violated if I’m honest. I feel like she manipulated me by saying she felt I was judging her for her work, to get me being all apologetic and then took advantage of that by being so disrespectful of my relationship and our friendship. She’s tried texting me loads since but hasn’t mentioned her behaviour. I just made excuses for not being up for a chat with her saying I was unwell. I’ve been worried about telling my fiancé because I don’t know if he’ll want me to continue the friendship and I don’t know if I can give up the only friend I feel has been such a great support to me at times when I’ve really needed it. I told him today because I felt guilty keeping it from him and needless to say, he’s unhappy.
What do I do about her? Do I try and talk to her? I don’t believe it was about me, I think she just wanted some attention.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Friend came onto me
Heartbroken21 · 18/08/2020 14:36
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