I wondered if anyone has any tips on how to get through negotiation around a divorce?
My STBXH moved out in June, it was his decision but I was glad (he was a big sulker, controlling and had been caught sending dick pics in the past). I have decided I don't want to continue the marriage, and we are starting to negotiate to get divorced.
We have been together 18 years, married for 10 and have two children. Money is by far THE MOST important thing in his life! When we got together, he owned a house with equity and I had a few thousand pounds saved. He sold his house and brought our current house while we were together but refused to have the house in joint names (some flimsy excuse at the time). I only worked part time in low paid jobs after having children, he controlled all of the money and I have ended up using my savings to fund our childrens lives! As our children are older I now have a good, well paid job.
Anyway, my solicitor has written to him requesting he complete a Form E as he wants to settle and make an agreement but he is telling me that he will not fill the form in or do any kind of financial declaration. He wants me to agree to accepting a lump sum to pay me off without ever letting me know how much money there is in the marriage.
If I took the money it is enough for me to buy a decent house mortgage free and I would be able to get this all wrapped up quite quickly. And as he constantly reminds me, he had a lot more when we got together so is it fair to take half? If I fight him for half (half Of what I do not know - may be more or less than he is offering!), he might not be able to buy me out, meaning we will have to sell our house - which could take a long time and I would be stuck in this limbo and under his control.
He constantly wears me down, with emotional blackmail, what is fair as I am the one doing this, won't i be satisfied until ive taken his whole life away, he will have to move away because I'm doing this to him, hes so low he feels like killing himself etc etc etc etc. I know if i fight, he will fight with every last breath in his body!
Any advice?!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Divorce Settlement Fight/Fair
sophmum31 · 18/08/2020 12:03
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.