I feel like there is zero respect left in my relationship. No compassion or care.
We’ve been together for 10 years (never married) and I think during that time I’ve been so busy with general life I hadn’t noticed how completely self absorbed he is.I lost my job last month and I think this is probably the first time I’ve hoped for some support from him rather than the other way around and it’s just not there. For example, I read out a cover letter I wrote for his opinion on it and he was just texting his colleagues and friends ignoring me. Today I had to take a timed test for an application and I said I need 5 mins quiet but he walked straight in with our 2 year old and wondered off while the toddler obviously wanted my attention so I was distracted.
I said I was annoyed about this and he said ‘what you can’t take a test with your kid in the room, are you thick?’
I’ve supported him so much over the years with his career, taken care of things and reduced my hours to enable him to work over 55hrs a week, taken an interest in what he does and yet my jobs just always been treated like it’s nothing by him despite the fact we can’t afford to live without my wage.
I’ve realised I can’t do this anymore, I have a sinking feeling in my chest most days because he’ll say or do something that just makes me feel like complete shit.
I don’t know what I do from here though, I have no job and he won’t let me take the house (large joint mortgage) The kids go to school here and it’s quite rural, no other rental properties around at the moment. The kids would be broken. It’s just not possible right now for me to leave. Our savings are wiped out too.
What do I do? I can’t leave but it’s killing me inside to stay. I sound pathetic but I feel psychically sick trying to hold tears back when he just keeps showing how little he cares, I feel stupid for having kids with someone who just doesn’t care and upset at how long I’ve wasted and how trapped I am now.
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Can’t leave partner but wish I could
10 replies
20Broken · 18/08/2020 09:55
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