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He punched the door and slapped the walls

(24 Posts)
LostLolipops123 Mon 17-Aug-20 17:05:34

Because he thought I scratched the front of his printer. Last week I touched his arm to stop him from marching off and he threw his arm so hard it twisted my hand. Then he scratched my neck when he yanked off my head phones. He hasn’t actually hit or punched me but he’s extremelt aggressive and unreasonable. I’m in absolute tears

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Mon 17-Aug-20 17:07:04

He is a violent bully. Get rid of him before it gets far worse, because it definitely will.

Toilenstripes Mon 17-Aug-20 17:09:17

So sorry OP. He’s a violent dickhead with anger issues. You are in danger. Please just leave and get to a safe place. Do you have children? Do you have support?

ClamDango Mon 17-Aug-20 17:10:13

Who is he? husband, partner? Have you been together long and live together. He sounds very aggressive with a nasty temper. Does he ever explain his behaviour or bother apologising.

mummyof4kids Mon 17-Aug-20 17:14:54

Run, and never look back. My ex was like this, trust me it gets worse

ChelseaFelix Mon 17-Aug-20 17:15:41

Who is he to you?
But your in a extremely dangerous situation! Please seek help and get him to leave! Tell family and get support!

user14562156358 Mon 17-Aug-20 17:17:35

He is physically and mentally abusing you. Please get yourself away from him.

LostLolipops123 Mon 17-Aug-20 17:19:29

Partner of 15 yrs. 3 kids and I’ve just taken 2 of them to my mums. The other one wanted to stay. My mum is leaving for two weeks so I will be staying here.

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Mon 17-Aug-20 17:22:35

Why can't you and all of your children stay at your mum's?

Bunnymumy Mon 17-Aug-20 17:30:33

Don't go back.
Speak with a solicitor about next steps (eg: selling the home and divorce process, for when you are ready). You can jopefully claim child maintenance from him once you are settled somewhere.

Punching walls ect is textbook sociopath behaviour. Chances are he is something along those lines. It is an intimidation tactic and considering he has no qualms putting his hands on you, it is likely it could escalate to more extreme violence.

They are usually worse if they manage to convince you to go back. Because they want to punish you for leaving your first time.

Well done you for getting out. Stay out!

LexMitior Mon 17-Aug-20 17:57:40

Glad you left; see a solicitor. Punching walls is basic code for punching you. Unsubtle but effective.

Elieza Mon 17-Aug-20 18:00:12

Glad you are safe at your mums.

I trust he’s never shown aggression in front of dc and it’s just you who gets to witness these outbursts, ie are the other kids safe with him?

LostLolipops123 Mon 17-Aug-20 18:04:17

He has started doing it more often over the last year or so. Being aggressive and angry. Always in a bad mood and just being mean for no reason. I asked him to stop multiple times because I would take action. He didn’t believe me obviously

OP’s posts: |
ClamDango Mon 17-Aug-20 18:11:26

glad you're gone but is the other dc safe with him?

Windmillwhirl Mon 17-Aug-20 18:11:42

You need to protect your children and yourself. Please leave him.

2bazookas Mon 17-Aug-20 18:12:16

Just a matter of time until he slaps and punches you and the kids.

WelshMoth Mon 17-Aug-20 18:13:15

How old is your remaining DC? They can often stay out of FOG and loyalty. Be careful OP.

WelshMoth Mon 17-Aug-20 18:13:57

Sorry - I should have added FOG = Fear, Obligation, Guilt.

Bunnymumy Mon 17-Aug-20 18:15:37

I'd be yelling the kids 'your dad put his hands on me in an aggressive manner and it is never ok for a man to hurt his wife so I left and I wont be going back. You can stay with dad or me and know that we both love you. But daddies' behaviour was unacceptable and wrong so I wont be going back'. The sooner you tell them this the better so that be cant get in his own fake version and make you seem like the bad guy.

Bunnymumy Mon 17-Aug-20 18:15:52


WelshMoth Mon 17-Aug-20 19:49:05

Are you ok OP?

JustBeingMoi Mon 17-Aug-20 20:18:28

My husband did this. The occasional shove. Shut my arm repeatedly in the fridge door, and accused me of moving it in the waay on purpose. He shoved and kicked me in bed once, to in his words "check i was alive'. Pinned me against our backdoor as I begged him not to leave during an argument, in front of our daughter. He was an aggressive angry bully. Make no mistake, this is abusive and threatening behaviour and is a poor foundation for a relationship. Get yourself free whilst you can.

M0mmzee Mon 17-Aug-20 20:30:36

I’m glad you’re out. Stay out and away and try to get your other child back because he is no role model that a child can look up to.
My H scares me. He has never touched me but has been extremely aggressive. I have tried to tell one or two people but they always take his side because, “he is kind, sociable and charming!”
Take care!

GilbertMarkham Mon 17-Aug-20 20:37:57

So sorry you're in this position op.

Glad you've left and have somewhere to stay for two weeks, what can you do about accommodation after that, would your mum let you stay on until you get somewhere.

Please contact women's aid for advice on what to do next, they have an online chat service now too.

Just copy and paste this thread in and tell.thek.its what you posred on.mumsnet for advice.

It's a pity one if your children chose to stay but what can you do about that .. presumably they'll have to.return to you if/when he goes to work (?)

It sounds like you need to get your ducks lined up for separating and later divorcing.

Have you read Lundy Bancroft?

Apparently Don Hennessy - inside the mind of .. is good too.

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