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Relationships

Tinder/dating etc

12 replies

CleverCatty · 17/08/2020 16:15

Ok. I'm currently 'dating' and joined up to Tinder. Had a few matches and few messages.

One guy wanted me to chat via Whatsapp and we have been doing so for a week but he says he deleted his Tinder account.

So we've been chatting for a week every day and suddenly he goes cold. He was asking me for lots of detail, photos of where I'd been but have been out with friends so a bit hard to do that. He's got his adult daughter staying with his as he's been living abroad for the past year. He said he wanted to meet up when he returned to the UK, after the August bank holiday.

Should I just write this one off?

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MarkRuffaloCrumble · 17/08/2020 16:28

Yes!

“Deleting his Tinder account” after a week. (Presume that means he wanted you to delete yours too!)

Asking for photos and details about where you’ve been.

Too much, too soon. Write this one off ASAP.

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CleverCatty · 17/08/2020 16:36

He did say that he was deleting his account as he was finding it hard to deal with Tinder likes dislikes etc which I get...

Is it a big red flag when they also tell you lots of details about an ex - he went into huge detail in two texts re alcoholic ex and I was a bit like, whoah??!!

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CleverCatty · 17/08/2020 16:39

I do have another potential option - there's a local man who is I suppose a barista in a local venue, at first I was just like, hmmm not sure if that's the type for me but then found afterwards that he was super clever, degree or something in maths and helped businesses with start up plans (finance advice etc).

Main issue there is he's nice and I've chatted to him with a friend but he's separated and about to get divorced with 2 kids. He had a girlfriend up until a couple of months ago but wants to 'date' and I think given the go ahead would certainly ask me out. Thoughts?

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littlebirdieblue · 17/08/2020 16:41

What type is a man who works as a barista then? 🤔

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LonelyFromCorona · 17/08/2020 16:42

Probably best to just post regular updates and any requests for opinions for thoughts on guys and their behaviour in here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3980245-Dating-Thread-192-Rose-tinted-glasses-need-banning

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CleverCatty · 17/08/2020 17:04

@littlebirdieblue

What type is a man who works as a barista then? 🤔

I didn't mean it in that way, I meant that I wasn't sure how free he'd be as he is there weekends etc.

also, shoot me now, maybe being a bit snobby, unsure if he had ambitions LOL
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CleverCatty · 17/08/2020 17:05

[quote LonelyFromCorona]Probably best to just post regular updates and any requests for opinions for thoughts on guys and their behaviour in here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3980245-Dating-Thread-192-Rose-tinted-glasses-need-banning[/quote]
oh didn't know there was a special thread, thanks!

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seensome · 17/08/2020 17:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seensome · 17/08/2020 17:50

Probably attached if keen to delete quickly and hot/cold behaviour

The barista sounds like he hasn't really got his life sorted for a serious relationship
But it's really down to your choices and what you are looking for.

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CleverCatty · 18/08/2020 12:24

@seensome

Probably attached if keen to delete quickly and hot/cold behaviour

The barista sounds like he hasn't really got his life sorted for a serious relationship
But it's really down to your choices and what you are looking for.

I don't think he is attached but I do think he's i don't know, love bombing etc - or maybe the texts I've had with him after a week he thinks ok she's not for me. fine then!

I agree re the barista - I like him but I get the feeling that's why his previous relationship ended. He told me last time we spoke he'd been with his ex wife since they were in their 20's and now it's years later. But he does say he wants a girlfriend.
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PointyMcguire · 18/08/2020 13:43

I would assume he was in a relationship given how quick he’s been to delete tinder. Often on OLD they’ll hook a few bites then delete so they’re less likely to get caught online and can continue chatting through WhatsApp or kik or whatever.

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CleverCatty · 18/08/2020 13:58

@PointyMcguire

I would assume he was in a relationship given how quick he’s been to delete tinder. Often on OLD they’ll hook a few bites then delete so they’re less likely to get caught online and can continue chatting through WhatsApp or kik or whatever.

I was wondering that too, didn't think to ask but as far as I know, no, no relationship, he's been living and working abroad for the past year, has been helping his friend out at a beach bar to make friends and find romance but said that none had cropped up/worked out.

He said he'd deleted Tinder because he was annoyed of getting messages, the swiping part and he's one of those been married before then dated but not internet dated.

I've never heard of being in a relationship and deleting the online dating app so you can continue to chat via Whatsapp etc. Have used Tinder in the past but not for ages!
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