What is going on with me. Am I going crazy?

[Warningveryhotwater]

I’ve name changed for this because in all honesty I’m so ashamed of myself.
Can anyone shed some light on what is happening with me please. I’m like a big bubble of emotions all the time and it’s starting to cause trouble in my relationship with DH. He’s calm and really laid back with everything. Sometimes he can be lazy, but I can’t not be up doing something so maybe it’s six Of one and half a dozen of the other.
I’m starting to not sleep very well sometimes waking up 3-4 times in the night. And when I do wake up it’s like my whole body is just ACHING. I don’t know why but in the morning I feel fine. I feel like I have to have control over everything in the house regarding housework wise. It needs to be perfect all the time. If I have unexpected guests I run around the house re doing things that really don’t need to be done. This causes arguments because as said above I feel like I can’t relax. Even when I’m watching telly my mind drifts to things that I really should be doing. It’s like I feel guilty for sitting down. Then I get really bad anxiety where I can’t stop my mind from wondering about worst case scenarios. Even feeling guilty for something I said 5 years ago. It’s really exhausting me and I’m so upset that I just can’t seem to pin point why I’m doing these things. I sometimes can get quite a temper if things don’t get done. Which again causes arguments with DH. It all came to blows on Saturday night where we had a massive argument in front of DD. She’s never seen us arguing before and now I’m worried she’s frightened. It’s a never ending cycle and I don’t know what to do. I’m so tired of feeling this way and I must be absolute bloody nightmare to live with.

[Warningveryhotwater]

I should also say. I feel like I’m drinking too much at the moment as a coping mechanism to try and mellow me out. I don’t get drunk ever. Just a glass to take the edge off in the evening.

[SoulofanAggron]

See your GP hun. They will help you.

[LilOldMe]

Are you really only drinking one glass a night? Have you measured how much is in the glass? (Do that - my big wine glasses hold half a bottle!)

Alcohol is a huge cause of anxiety and sleeplessness. You fall asleep quickly, but then wake up more during the night and never feel properly rested.

Don't know about the aches, though. That's weird.

I'm a control freak at home and get stressed, but I've learned to kill my perfectionism by using the "Good enough is good enough" mantra.

[BigusBumus]

How old are you? Could you be perimenopausal?

[Warningveryhotwater]

@SoulofanAggron I’ve literally just signed on to a surgery my original one is over 30 miles away. But I’ve been putting off going due to covid.
@LilOldMe. Well one bottle of wine can last me 3 evenings so I don’t think I’m pouring them so large . I think I just need to learn to chill out a bit. I never used to be like this but over the past year and a half it’s been getting worse and worse and I really need to start doing something about it but I just can’t place what it is that’s the problem. My emotions are all over the place. The only emotion that I don’t feel is calm and it’s so tiring.
@BigusBumus I’m 31 years old. But I did start my menstrual cycle at a very early age ( I was 9 ) and have been told that I could expect to experience it earlier than the average woman. That’s interesting I never really thought about it.

[HorridHamble]

I think you should speak with your GP. It could be any number of things e.g. hormones out of whack, vitamin/mineral deficiency, stress are the first ones that come to my unqualified mind.

I know it sounds hokey, but I have implemented some basic measures to help me stay calm (I am a natural stress fiend). Simple things like a realistic daily routine, planning and prepping meals, doing a variation of TOMM for housework all contribute to me staying in control, which helps to stabilise my mood.

I do think you should speak with your GP as a priority though.

[Opaljewel]

Sounds like OCD and anxiety. But I am not a doctor so your best port of call is there.

The reason why I mention the above is that I have anxiety and I suspect strongly ocd as well. If I'm feeling stressed then my mind constantly batters me with my thoughts and I tend to ruminate. Counselling helped massively. And also mindfulness and meditation.

[updownroundandround]

Definitely see your GP as medication could well help.

Also, maybe try some yoga or relaxation classes ? ( there's quite a few online/ zoom etc. I think it may help you as you are actually 'doing something', but that 'something' is learning to take time to relax.

[ravenmum]

GP is the place to go.
Anxiety seems likely, or could you be having trouble with breathing at night - sleep apnoea? Maybe you are getting even less sleep than you think.

[JammyHands]

I felt like this in the perimenopause, esp the aching. See your GP.