Talk

Advanced search

Think my dp has munchausen can’t take it anymore!

(285 Posts)
Ginger89 Mon 17-Aug-20 03:40:29

At first I thought he was a hyperchondriac but he doesn’t have anxiety or worry over illness he just complains atleast 5 times a day minimum of some ailment. Been together nearly 4 years and it’s got to the point that the thought of spending the rest of my life with him depresses me. I don’t know what to do anymore has anyone ever expierienced this? I know there is worse problems in the world right now but it’s so unbearable sometimes I stay out all day or try and stay over at friends houses because I can’t be arsed coming home to listen to how sick he feels or watch him lie there with a hot water bottle but then if his friends ring him he will spring right up to the pub! Not that bloody sick. It’s not just me either his friends know him to complain constantly of a headache, stomach pains just fucking anything really.

OP’s posts: |
Honeybeexo Mon 17-Aug-20 03:42:31

Go to a doctor, we can’t diagnose you on here

CheshireCats Mon 17-Aug-20 03:44:23

@Honeybeexo have you actually read the op??

RantyAnty Mon 17-Aug-20 03:44:49

End the relationship. That's no way to live.

Ginger89 Mon 17-Aug-20 03:55:30

Yeah it really isn’t ranty, I would understand maybe if I actually acknowledged him and gave him the attention he was after but after the first year I thought wow I’ve never met a man who’s ill daily in my whole life so I stopped sympathy & stopped pandering to him but here we are 3 years later and he still does it. Sometimes I’ve burst out crying when he announces what’s up with him on this day bla bla it’s so horrible to listen to daily when I know there’s nothing wrong with him! I’m at a loss he is a good man & I do love him but it’s soul destroying

OP’s posts: |
JackPaul Mon 17-Aug-20 04:00:38

Did he actually go to the gp? Is it obs or food intolerance? It sounds mad.

Ginger89 Mon 17-Aug-20 04:04:16

No he won’t go to the gp because there’s nothing wrong with him! He literally will wake up & start the day with “i’ve got a migraine me” 2 hours in “I’ve got bad chest pains” 4 hours “got this mad shooting pain in my ribs” “my stomach hurts” this is constant, daily. He was supposed to go for a blood test about 2 years ago but didn’t go...because he knows there is nothing wrong with him. I just don’t know what to do anymore, I’m scared that if I do end things he will actually make himself sick so as to not let it end sort of thing?

OP’s posts: |
Monty27 Mon 17-Aug-20 04:07:38

That would bore the tits off me OP.
I couldn't bear it. It's your life and your choice 👍

Ginger89 Mon 17-Aug-20 04:09:01

Playing the “sick role” to try and obtain feelings of reassurance, support, care & attention but I stopped giving him all that after 12 months in and I worked out that no-one could be that ill 365 days a year so I just don’t understand why he continues to do it with me when I refuse to give him what he wants

OP’s posts: |
Ginger89 Mon 17-Aug-20 04:10:42

Yeah it really does bore the tits off me literally to tears some days 😩I just looking for advice on weather it’s a reasonable thing to end it with someone who is an otherwise great person

OP’s posts: |
daisypond Mon 17-Aug-20 04:18:14

Would he have counselling? But you don’t have to put up with it. Give him an ultimatum.

WanderlyWagonInWales Mon 17-Aug-20 04:18:19

Run. Far and fast and don’t look back.

RantyAnty Mon 17-Aug-20 04:20:00

Does he manage to hold down a job?

Aquamarine1029 Mon 17-Aug-20 04:22:21

Just end it already. Why are you even hesitating?

fallfallfall Mon 17-Aug-20 04:22:29

Reasonable to leave?? It’s unreasonable to stay. Leave ASAP.

AgentProvocateur Mon 17-Aug-20 04:22:40

Walk away. Don’t waste any more of your life. He’ll drag you down with him.

NinkiNonkiNikau Mon 17-Aug-20 04:24:49

Throw this one back in the sea

Guineapigbridge Mon 17-Aug-20 04:29:17

You can dump someone for any reason you like OP. If he bores you, that's a pretty good reason to let him go his own way.

Ginger89 Mon 17-Aug-20 04:39:23

I doubt he’d go to counselling because then he’d have to admit he fakes being ill, I am hesitating because apart from his many ailments he is a good man, loving affectionate loyal, all the qualities of a life long partner I just can’t see myself doing this life long if this never stops (appologies I’m unsure how to tag & respond individually)

OP’s posts: |
Ploughingthrough Mon 17-Aug-20 04:45:11

Sounds horrible op. I would confront him about it, ask him why he feels that he is ill so often each day and what he thinks could be wrong. I would then suggest that it's unlikely that he is sick and he needs to see a counsellor as you are finding it difficult to live with him.
If he won't go to counselling or take blood tests at the GP then I would leave. Life is too short.

Aridane Mon 17-Aug-20 04:45:19

Does her work?

Ginger89 Mon 17-Aug-20 04:49:06

I’ve confronted him many times, I’ve even cried when he’s complained of yet another illness and said I can’t live like this he just said “i can’t help it if I’m sick” I said you are sick every. Single. Day!!! Sometimes it’s like white noise to me now I’m aware he’s moaning of something but I just block it out it’s so so draining I just don’t know how to deal with it anymore. He’s not working at the moment no got laid off at the start of lock down

OP’s posts: |
Ginger89 Mon 17-Aug-20 04:51:51

Would the ultimatum of counselling & or blood tests at the gp or It’s over be fair enough here or would that make me a horrible bitch

OP’s posts: |
humblesims Mon 17-Aug-20 04:57:57

I think you need to open that dialogue. An ultimatum can just be a case of you saying that you personally cannot carry on in the relationship if he isnt prepared to address the problem. He must be able to see that no one can be ill everyday. Its not logical. If he refuses to acknowledge that he has a problem then I would leave. You cant sustain a lifetime that way.

Ernieshere Mon 17-Aug-20 05:01:13

he just said “i can’t help it if I’m sick

Apart from the pub with friends, tell him.

Does he admit he's o.k then?

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in