This is quite long just to give some context. A close friend of mine has an on / off relationship with a guy (Tom) who she thinks is 'the one' . Until a couple of months ago, every time I spoke to her she would tell me what was going on between the 2 of them and even though I (and i haven't told her this) think she would be better off dumping Tom because there are better men out there, I try to be supportive. I don't think he's abusive or anything, I just think he's messing her around.
A couple of months ago, friend suddenly stopped talking about Tom, and seemed to make an effort to actually not mention him. If i asked about Tom, she would briefly say that she had seen him or spent time with him but then quickly change the subject. It reached a point where I felt awkward mentioning Tom and I made a decision not to talk about him unless she did first. I met friend for lunch today and she didn't mention Tom at all, even though when she was showing me some photos on her phone she scrolled past a very recent (taken in the past week) picture of Tom.
It now feels like there is a huge elephant in the room every time we meet. She is clearly spending time with Tom, maybe dating, maybe not, but won't talk about it. Because I care about her, I want to check she's ok but also feel like it's not my place to push the topic. A few weeks ago I did send her a text message saying that she hadn't seemed herself recently, that I hoped she was ok, and if she wanted to talk about anything she knew where I was. She didn't reply and I've seen her since and she hasn't mentioned it. What would other people do in this situation?
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How do you deal with an 'elephant in the room' conversation topic?
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yelllowpinkgreenblue · 16/08/2020 16:46
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