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Failed sex this morning - who was right

(163 Posts)
madderose Sat 15-Aug-20 16:32:55

Name changed for this cos embarrassing. We are staying at our in laws. Our DC aged 7 and 10 were staying in a room across the landing, and pil's room is over landing too. Stairs are right next to our room. Large Victorian farmhouse with very thick walls so not much chance of being overheard. Dc usually get up v early as in 6am and entertain themselves until we come down and sort breakfast.

Dh initiated sex at about 7am. I was happy to have sex but I feel like we have an unspoken understanding that in circumstances like these it is a quicky, for obvious reasons. But this morning for some reason dh seemed to be taking him time. I was Conscious that dcs could be close to wanting breakfast, and we really needed to get Up and just wanted him to finish so we could get on with the day. He picked up on the fact that I am frustrated with him and it ends unsatisfactorily for both of us. This NEVER usually happens.

WIBU? Surely the only acceptable sex to have in the morning when you are staying in someone else's house is a really quick quicky? That's what we usually do. I've no idea why he was taking so long, but he says it was Off putting that I was clearly impatient.

OP’s posts: |
3sb73zmlsn98 Sat 15-Aug-20 16:40:22

It's just one of those things, is it even worth worrying about?

TheMostHappy Sat 15-Aug-20 16:48:36

confused I'm shocked by sex staying in someone else's house at all, never mind whilst people are awake and up and about, but I'm admittedly a bit of a prude.

Sounds like a miscommunication between you both in any case.

cultkid Sat 15-Aug-20 16:51:25

I would have just relaxed and had sex

Aquamarine1029 Sat 15-Aug-20 16:51:31

Why is this even an issue? Sometimes it doesn't go as planned due to one kind of interruption or another. Big deal.

lazylinguist Sat 15-Aug-20 17:12:41

I'm shocked by sex staying in someone else's house at all, never mind whilst people are awake and up and about, but I'm admittedly a bit of a prude.

Yup, same here. No way on earth I would have even considered it under those circumstances.

OldWomanSaysThis Sat 15-Aug-20 17:15:11

Reminds me of guests leaving and me going to wash the sheets and there is cum all over it. Geez. There should be a rule.

userabcname Sat 15-Aug-20 17:21:36

Maybe he thought his parents would go down and sort breakfast? I think yanbu though. In fact I probably wouldn't want to have sex at all when visting pil, especially if my dc were awake and downstairs potentially wreaking havoc.

Sunrise234 Sat 15-Aug-20 17:23:46

I'm shocked by sex staying in someone else's house at all, never mind whilst people are awake and up and about, but I'm admittedly a bit of a prude.

I'm not a prude at all but I don't tend to have sex in other people's homes.
But OP it sounds as though this wasn't wanted by either of you but more a thing you have to do regardless of whether either of you enjoy it or not.

Skyliner001 Sat 15-Aug-20 17:29:15

🤢TMI

ThePlantsitter Sat 15-Aug-20 17:30:06

'it was off-putting and I was clearly impatient'.

You didn't want his penis inside you any more. If he realised this, instead of whining about being frustrated and you not meeting his needs, he should have stopped! I'm not naive - of course plenty of generosity like this happens in marriages when one person's attention wavers or whatever - but really he should be apologising for continuing even though by his own admission he knew you weren't into it any more!!

madderose Sat 15-Aug-20 17:38:12

Hmmmm

I don't think it is unusual or wrong to do it in someone else'sHouse as long as we are discreet which we are.

Dcs are v well behaved and do not "wreak havoc"

But OP it sounds as though this wasn't wanted by either of you but more a thing you have to do regardless of whether either of you enjoy it or not.

This is not the at all and not sure why you would infer This. I very much enjoy sex with dh but I think Pp are right re a miscommunication this time.

It's also virtually unheard of for neither of us to orgasm so this is why this seemed so disappointing and unusual.

OP’s posts: |
Seychelles98 Sat 15-Aug-20 17:41:06

I'm shocked that you'd even consider having sex in someone else's house never mind actually doing it! Could you or dh not wait until you got home? I mean you're not a couple of teenagers with no self control are you...

Wondersense Sat 15-Aug-20 17:42:26

Oh god OP you have really high standards! Sometimes people just have an off day. There might be distractions. It doesn't devalue what you have the rest of the time. It's just a tiff. If you analyse things this small I dread to think how you'll deal with a bigger obstacle in your marriage!

Northernsoullover Sat 15-Aug-20 17:43:27

You were both unreasonable. Don't have sex in someone elses bed.

Seychelles98 Sat 15-Aug-20 17:46:20

Meant to add OP to not over analyse or keep talking about it as it's probably a one off - just forget about it and move on - you sound like a happy couple overall so treasure that as it seems pretty rare these days!

Bananabread8 Sat 15-Aug-20 17:48:38

I don’t think anyone was at fault really. Although OP just communicate next time and tell him to stop next time as you don’t want the kids walking in or anything. You know what men are like! Your DH probably wasn’t keeping track of time in the moment.

Babyroobs Sat 15-Aug-20 17:48:49

TheMostHappy

confused I'm shocked by sex staying in someone else's house at all, never mind whilst people are awake and up and about, but I'm admittedly a bit of a prude.

Sounds like a miscommunication between you both in any case.

Exactly this.

Standrewsschool Sat 15-Aug-20 17:49:13

Doesn’t bother me when or where you did the deed.

However, I think you are overthinking it. Just put it down to experience and move on. Not all sex is successful at all time.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat Sat 15-Aug-20 17:49:49

When you say...
Dh initiated sex at about 7am
... does he ring one of those bell things that they have on hotel reception desks or fire a starting pistol?

strawberrymilkshakemonkey Sat 15-Aug-20 17:51:41

i think it seems like a miscommunication op. i wouldn't worry too much about it - being in someone else's house in an unusaual surrundings/bed can make you feel on edge, or not as relaxed.

i dont understnad all the posters saying you shoudn't have sex at someone else's house? that is literally what beds are for? why wouldn't you?

Bananabread8 Sat 15-Aug-20 17:52:14

Standrewsschool

Doesn’t bother me when or where you did the deed.

However, I think you are overthinking it. Just put it down to experience and move on. Not all sex is successful at all time.

This

Mommabear20 Sat 15-Aug-20 17:53:10

Wouldn't dream of having sex in someone else's house! Definitely not while they are awake and you knew your children could have walked in at any moment!

AdaColeman Sat 15-Aug-20 17:53:32

Neither one of you were "right", it wasn't a test. So move on, it will be better next time.

Mrsjayy Sat 15-Aug-20 17:53:56

It sounds terrible all round you were distracted and he got annoyed msybe wait until you have time not act like its a chore

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