As the title suggests.. I’ve been involved in a toxic on and off Rship for almost 3.5 years now. I wouldn’t even call it a Rship anymore I don’t even know what it is. Posting here really to just get stuff off my chest as things have got on top of me again and I feel shit.
It is to long to even type everything that has gone on over the years however it’s been very toxic arguments no real commitment from him and also an abortion nearly two years ago that he wanted and I didn’t and can’t really seem to move on from.
I’ve managed to not talk to him for months at a time .. the last year we’ve been more off than on and he stopped contacting me if we argue I will admit sometimes it is now me who gets in contact first when it used to be him.
I feel he’s lost any feelings for me now he doesn’t seem to care even less now when I’m upset than before.. maybe he’s had enough and wouldn’t blame him as it’s not been great but then he will come on strong again and I’ll get confused.. we barely have had sex in the last year I could count on one hand.
Last week I saw a change in him he seemed how he was at the start of our Rship he all of a sudden wanted to see me a lot and kept asking to stay over. I found this strange as he hasn’t been like this for months and months.. he was also being very touchy feely and trying to initiate sex I said no the first few nights. He asked to take me out for dinner which we have not done in so long. I honestly thought maybe there had been some change in him.. I was wrong.
We eventually had sex was due to to out for dinner a few nights after this. Day came I couldn’t tell he didn’t want to go it was awful he was horrible the whole time.. ended up in me crying and a Huge argument all because he was ‘tired’
He’s never been the type of man with a high sex drive or pestered me for sex but I feel the coming on strong and being nice asking to take me out was just for sex . He completly changed after he got it.
I’ve told him how I felt we’ve argued gone back and fourth and I am now blocked.
I feel shit .. I don’t want to be in this situation nearly 4 years later with nothing to show from it. I thought I wasn’t so wrapped up in him anymore but my mental health is shit this week now and I feel so shit that he just picked me up and dropped me again.
Just wanted to get it of my chest. X
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This is toxic
8 replies
Francis90 · 15/08/2020 14:45
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