So confused - just don't know what to do..

[neednewbag]

Just need some advice really. i know that proably i should leave my dh as in many ways i don't trust him and feel sometimes feel intimidated by his temper and that fact he shouts so loudly sometimes so that ds can hear. Things have been bad for ages (ds nearly 18 months). He got angry withme less than 2 weeks after i gace birht and at the end of his paternity leaves said my behaviour has "pi**ed the last 2 weeks up the wall". Vile language, but his words. There have been so many hurtful things said and done , i can hardly ever bring myself to tell him i love him and have only had sex 3 times since ds was born. I feel too hurt to let him that close to me. I know the fault doesn't all lie with him, I've said and done horribel things too and bhaved unreasonably at times. I'm seeing a counsellor at the moment to try to soer out how i feel and ds will be joining the sessions too in a while. In some ways he's great - does lots for ds, does lots reound the house, generous with money, gives me massages wheni want them!!, but i just feel like we're just sharing a house now. Any advice anyone? Thanks

[neednewbag]

bump

[ginnedupmummy]

Message withdrawn

[loopylou6]

you are on the right track with seeing a professional, but u could also do things at home like have a "date" one night a week, if u cant get a sitter then get the child/ren in bed early, get yourself tarted up, make a nice meal or order takeaway, get some candles really set the atmosphere, ban the television, and just talk and try and remember why u fell in love in the first place, maybe take turns massaging each other etc

[neednewbag]

thanks,we do manage to go out with out ds on e a month or so, and it';s usually really nice. i know he's a great husband in losts of ways - i just wnat to move on from all the bad things so we can be a happy family

[neednewbag]

bump

[eyesfront]

How good was your relationship when it was at it at its best, and what has changed since then?

[Elizabetth]

What does he want neednewbag? Is he prepared to make changes in order that you can feel close to him?