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Am I being selfish?(2 Posts)
So a few weeks ago I thought we had reached the end of our relationship (I posted on here and I'm sure a lot of you read it 'is this the end'). Since then alot has changed, me and my husband have talked through alot of issues, we both said what we needed and each other has been working towards giving that to the other person. Our communication is better, our every day interactions are better, we are both happier and our sex lives are better. Alot was based around (which I hadnt realised until you all pointed it out) that we were both depressed and I needed desperately help with weight, self confidence and health/exercise. I have spoken with doctor, sorted counselling, am now watching what I eat and exercising more than I was (not enough but I am improving). But, I have a major sticking point and want and need your help. I feel (and kids have commented on this) that I dont see my husband enough. He works (a physical job) 8-5, mon-fri. We have a brief catch up/run down of the day. Then showers and has tea. Then does jobs and sits with youngest (age 9) say 7-8 (but usually on phone and often turns out to be for only 15 minutes). He doesnt spend any specific time with our two daughters aged 12 and 15. Then he goes in his office until 10 where he works on his own business. Every tuesday night he goes bike riding from about 7- 9.30 and on a sat he gets ups at 6am and goes on a bike ride until about 12. On a friday night he plans his route for sat plus he does other stuff. I feel we never see him. Am I being selfish or does this seem unrealistic to you? Am I asking too much of him to cut down on this? I know why he does it because he wants to earn for the family, though he has only just started offering any real insight into his business and money to the family. He goes on his bike for his depression which is fab but I feel we come 2nd, 3rd or 4th on his list of priorities. Is this me being demanding or whatever or is this a real issue that needs sorting. Advice please
It sounds like you have made a good start on try to communicate better and sort things out but a few more tweaks are needed.
This is not quite working for you at the moment because you need more input from him with family life; you are completely within your rights to say that to him and to ask him to engage more. Don't let this slide or you will be back to square one!
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