I'm going to try to keep this brief but not drip feed!
Met a guy 6 weeks ago on OLD. He was married for 20 years and recently separated (a few months prior).
I was a little concerned, but at the same time not too much as I was (am!) just looking for dates and company and I'm in no rush to move things along.
He is a very intense person, always wanting to see me and and telling me he misses me, wanting to talk about feelings etc.
Date number 3 and he utters THOSE 3 words I told him it's not love, it's lust. I admit I nearly ran for the hills. I'm not sure what stopped me. I guess I can see he is emotionally quite immature, having never been with anyone else other than his wife.
Fast forward to last week, things had been ok, I mostly enjoy his company but he is pushy, last week he stayed over one night, I had said I don't think it's best he stays as I had things to do the next day. He said he was too tired to drive.
The next day he made himself at home, so I was blunt and said he needed to leave. He got the arse and left. I haven't seen him since.
I told him over the phone that he is too intense, talking about moving in together, the future etc and the constant wanting to know every feeling I have is too much.
He acknowledged that but is constantly asking to see me and all I feel is this huge pressure.
To me, this is all too much hard work for such early days! But I feel bad, he he thinks he is head over heels in love with me. The other night I spoke to him on the phone but only for 10 minutes as I was tired, he made me feel guilty about it being audio and not video and text me telling me he had stuff to tell me and was so upset... so I felt guilty and video called him. He was crying and telling me about stuff to do with his ex and how he was feeling.
I feel like he manipulates me in some ways, but then another side of me wonders if I'm being heartless and he's just a bit needy?!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Should I run?
NotAnnieWilkes · 13/08/2020 15:39
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