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What defines a partner?

(10 Posts)
Notcoolmum Thu 13-Aug-20 14:33:00

Just curious from reading so many threads where people refer to their DP and then say they have been together a year or so (or less) and don't live together etc. It made me curious as to when a boyfriend/girlfriend becomes a partner. And what people see as being key to that transition.

For context I have been seeing my BF for 14 months. We see each other 2-3 times a week. No plans to live together in the near future. Not least as I have teenagers and I respect their home as their comfort zone.

But we support each other, help each other to find solutions to problems, do mundane things together like my weekly shop as well as nice date type things. I see him very firmly as my BF not partner and would probably think this the case until we (if we do) move into together.

OP’s posts: |
Oopsiedaisyy Thu 13-Aug-20 15:09:31

Some people don't like the term BF/GF as it feels like you're going to go behind the bike sheds for a snog.

Its not really to do with the stage of the relationship I think.

Summer41 Thu 13-Aug-20 15:19:02

I think your boyfriend becomes your partner when you move in together.

Mintjulia Thu 13-Aug-20 15:25:33

For me, partner is your best friend, someone who sees themself as the other half of your team in anything important and backs you up in public.

The person you turn to when the shit really hits the fan and know they will cancel their plans and come and help, without moaning. And you will do the same for them.

Someone you make firm plans with, further then 12 months out even if you don’t live together for whatever reason.

Boyfriend is the frivolous, ‘not sure this is going anywhere but it’s good fun’ type relationship. smile

AryaStarkWolf Thu 13-Aug-20 15:26:11

em I don't know, I don't think it matters really, people get very funny on here about those labels, for some reason. For me it's just a kind of an age thing, B/F/GF just kind of sounds a bit young or something.

Fatted Thu 13-Aug-20 15:27:45

I'd class partner or significant other as someone you live with. Although I'd feel a bit of a prat talking about my boyfriend or girlfriend at my age (40)! So I suppose that's why some people say it.

CountFosco Thu 13-Aug-20 15:28:42

You live with a partner. Before that they are a BF/GF/friend.

JoJoSM2 Thu 13-Aug-20 15:30:19

Some people don't like the term BF/GF as it feels like you're going to go behind the bike sheds for a snog.

That’s how I perceive it. Over a certain age, they’re a partner as long as it’s an exclusive relationship.

NotaCoolMum Thu 13-Aug-20 15:30:25

@Oopsiedaisyy- exactly! BF sounds like I’m 15!

Notcoolmum Thu 13-Aug-20 15:57:45

I'm nearly 50 so I do know what you mean... to me partner just seems to be more than BF. When I was younger that's what I called my husband (before we got married!).

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