Does anyone else have stories regarding vile step mums in their children's lives?

[pipandpoppy]

Ex husband has now married (apparently) his wife who is half his age and can barely speak English. In the time they have been together, the "now wife" has made zero effort with our two older children, in fact at one stage she sent abusive and derogatory text messages about our children when she had one of the "many" arguments with my ex... and felt the need to let me know: "I don't want him. You can have him back!".

My kids are old enough to decide themselves if they want to engage in the exes new family, complete with two "accidental " new babies but I'm intrigued to know if anyone else has had issues with the new wifey on the scene?

[MaliceOrgan]

"now wife" & "wifey" - no wonder she doesn't want to get to know you and your kids

[SecretWitch]

I guess I was lucky. My children’s step mother has been a generally positive influence in their lives. My eldest daughter is currently in business with her. We worked together to bring my very ill son home from a foreign country. We are not friends but maintain a cordial relationship.

[pipandpoppy]

SecretWitch - that is great. Must ease tensions all round!

[Countrysidelife54]

Sorry but you dont sound too nice op her having accidental new babies,

[ShebaShimmyShake]

@pipandpoppy

Ex husband has now married (apparently) his wife who is half his age and can barely speak English. In the time they have been together, the "now wife" has made zero effort with our two older children, in fact at one stage she sent abusive and derogatory text messages about our children when she had one of the "many" arguments with my ex... and felt the need to let me know: "I don't want him. You can have him back!".

My kids are old enough to decide themselves if they want to engage in the exes new family, complete with two "accidental " new babies but I'm intrigued to know if anyone else has had issues with the new wifey on the scene?

I'd blame your ex for this, tbh. He's the one who chose to make her a part of your kids' lives and if he still doesn't know how he got his kids by this point, that's on him too.

[SecretWitch]

@pipandpoppy, I do feel lucky! We are total opposites in terms of personality (she being much more extroverted) She and my ex didn’t have their children (she is also ten years younger) until my children were in their early teens. I don’t know if that makes a difference?

[HouchinBawbags]

No step parents for my kids but my own stepmum actually banned my dad from seeing DSis and I.
Parents marriage broke down (dad's repeated infidelity) when we were 10 and 11. New wifey arrived same year when we turned 11 and 12. When they moved into their second home together the visits/outings with her and her two sons stopped. Dad started picking us up after school once a week, we went to their house, did our homework and he'd take us to McDs after an hour and then home. She was never there. It was.... odd. It went on for a good 6 months. We had all got on just fine previously. Dad was too strict scary for us to be ill-mannered or anything.

Once I left a book there by mistake and he phoned up screaming and swearing at me. It transpired that he was seeing us in secret and the book would have been a giveaway. Apparently we weren't allowed in their house which is why we got an hour once a week but no longer. She was at work that day.

DSis told him to fuck off and I followed. Contact stopped until he sorted his shit out.

He must have stood up for himself eventually because normal visits resumed after a couple of months of ignoring him, Wifey was polite enough to us and DSis and I were never allowed to question what the fuck went on. 25+ years later we still don't know. Wifey is long gone and dad refuses to get into why he went along with it or why she thought she could stop her DH seeing his own children in a house he paid for while her two had a room each there.

[RoseTintedAtuin]

Your language suggests high levels of prejudice against her (age, language, choice to have children). These situations can be difficult but it appears you are a significant contributor to the situation and it doesn’t sound like she has made any waves with your kids as they are older?