Best way forward

(6 Posts)
meno43 Tue 11-Aug-20 09:41:00

So i do have a history of anxiety/depression and peri menopause is starting and triggering it, along with lockdown, working from home and feeling isolated. I exercise/distract/keep occupied and am a single parent to 1ds.
Divorce 12 years ago, followed by abusive relationship and then another which would never work due to distance. Anyway thats the backstop.
Recently met someone with links to my past, dating 12 weeks and recently had a pregnancy scare. It has been a rollercoaster. We had our first argument, i think because of stress and i feel rubbish. Very much feel its too much too soon. I thought I was ready for a relationship but im finding it difficult, trust and to overcome and not relate to what has happened previously. How do I do it? how do I have a healthy relationship? I wouldnt have expected an argument 12 weeks in and fear it might end

OP’s posts: |
meno43 Tue 11-Aug-20 12:33:11


OP’s posts: |
takeanotherchillpill Tue 11-Aug-20 13:16:42

Perhaps you're not in the right 'place' for a relationship? Or specifically not ready for this relationship?

My yardstick is that if any relationship makes me unhappy more than it makes me happy, then it should end.

Lozzerbmc Tue 11-Aug-20 14:51:06

I think this early on you should still be in first flush of love. Perhaps preg scare made you think about the future, but in an unfavourable way? Relationships should enrich your life

meno43 Tue 11-Aug-20 15:01:14

We certainly did feel that way and it was going really well. Although initially it was lots of messages. Im finding in person, we have different communication styles and often misunderstand each other or misinterpret. I really want it to work and the scare didn't make me think unfavourably, nor him. Yes, I agree. Im wondering if this is my issue or if we arent a good match

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hellsbellsmelons Tue 11-Aug-20 16:51:38

You may not be ready.
Did you get some outside support after your abusive relationships?
If not, then I suggest you do the Freedom Programme on line which is run by Womens Aid.
If you have the resources then I'd also suggest you contact Womens Aid and ask for counsellors and therapists in your area that specialise in dealing with abuse.
That may help as well.

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