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Faded by a woman I really liked. Was it the distance or bad timing?

(5 Posts)
goodlife88 Mon 10-Aug-20 15:05:16

There's this amazing woman whom I have gone out with a few times -- simply the best I've met. We got along well, have many similarities, share philosophies and perspectives. Everything had been going extremely well, until one day, she abruptly started responding less, to the point that it seemed she was trying to cut communication and fade. She eventually said she just wanted to be friends.

I asked her why but she wouldn't elaborate. However, I think we've met under unfortunate timing:

- We live in different continents and the few times we've met are during annual work trip.

- During that same time, she was let go from her job and has had a difficult time looking for another one.

Do you think these could be the trigger for her?

OP’s posts: |
takeanotherchillpill Mon 10-Aug-20 15:43:27

It doesn't matter why she chose to lessen and then cease contact with you - she made the decision and you should choose to respect it and not speculate on her reasoning.

Dery Mon 10-Aug-20 16:00:08

@goodlife88

"There's this amazing woman whom I have gone out with a few times -- simply the best I've met."

I think you need to reassess your approach to relationships and women. It's not based on reality. How can you possibly know that a woman you have met a few times is the best you've ever met? At such an early stage you really don't know each other at all but also why are you even thinking in those terms? It actually doesn't reflect well on you at all - it sounds disrespectful towards all the other women you've happened to know and a sensible woman will know that your statement is based on fantasy not reality.

Once you've been in a relationship with someone for a while (I mean like several months/a year etc), you may well be in a position to say that the relationship is the best you have ever had and that you feel you and your relationship partner are better suited to each other than you have felt with any other partner.

You need to respect that she doesn't want to see you any more and you might want to consider whether you have an unrealistic approach to women and relationships which may have put her off and may need to be worked on.

Justmuddlingalong Mon 10-Aug-20 16:03:50

You shouldn't ask her to elaborate. She decided she doesn't want to have any more dates with you. That is reason enough.

wigglerose Mon 10-Aug-20 18:18:44

I mean this kindly, I'm sure it stings but you'll never know the answer and you need to stop picking the wound. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, go do something you enjoy outside or with a friend and distract yourself.

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