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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

What does this behaviour (DH) mean?

27 replies

Osteopernum · 09/08/2020 17:24

DH was watching a TV series yesterday, watching episodes back to back. When I came into lounge, there was no one in there and husband was in kitchen. I assumed he had finished watching TV and turned on the news. This caused him to explode as apparently he was about to start next episode of his series. I was quite sharp in my tone when I reacted to him losing his temper. He then went up to his room early evening yesterday and hasn't come down since. It is now 5.23pm the following day and he still hasn't got up. Have checked a few times today and he appears to be sleeping.

I don't even know what this behaviour means or what to make of it.

OP posts:

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MaeDanvers · 09/08/2020 18:23

Well on its own it seems like he’s having a tantrum and sulk! Is he often Lomé this when you disagree? What is your relationship normally like? And are any other factors at play - like work stress or you arguing over other things!

Spied · 09/08/2020 18:41

The explosion and sleeping a lot could point to depression?

choli · 09/08/2020 18:44

He sounds like an ass. If you are not actually married to him then run. If you are married to him, start planning your escape unless this is the life you want to lead.

RaininSummer · 09/08/2020 18:52

He sounds like a badly behaved child. If he is depressed then he needs to try communicating not depressing everyone around him.

Osteopernum · 09/08/2020 18:53

Normally relationship OK. Together 30 years. He is a sulker but fortunately this doesn't happen too often normally. I am just perplexed by this current behaviour. I don't know if it could mean onset of depression. It's just so bizarre.

OP posts:

ClementineWoolysocks · 09/08/2020 19:13

Have you properly checked on him, like to make sure he's ok? That's a really long time for someone to be asleep.

Osteopernum · 09/08/2020 19:18

@ClementineWoolysocks

Have you properly checked on him, like to make sure he's ok? That's a really long time for someone to be asleep.

Definitely sleeping. Have just checked and now sleeping on top of covers. Previously under duvet.

OP posts:

BertiesLanding · 09/08/2020 19:37

It sounds like he is shifting into either a depression, or a break-down, or both.

Soubriquet · 09/08/2020 19:41

He hasn’t left the room since yesterday evening?

No eating, drinking?
Toiletting?

He’s been asleep this entire time?

I would be waking him up and making sure 100% he was ok. He might be pissy about it but I would rather that

TheSunIsStillShining · 09/08/2020 19:46

or if he is anything like my husband: he'll sleep it off and even potentially say sorry for being an ass.

My husband does this from time to time. He goes sulking for 2-3 days. It's his way of dealing with shit within. Until he figures it out I can't help him.

I'm total opposite: scream, shout and want to talk it out.... i have no idea how we managed to stay married and happy....

Pobblebonk · 09/08/2020 19:48

Did he sleep last night, so far as you know?

Osteopernum · 09/08/2020 20:01

My son has just said that he may have been working through the night as saw light on at 4pm. Would explain why he's slept all day.

OP posts:

Pobblebonk · 09/08/2020 22:39

Has he surfaced yet?

PercyKirke · 10/08/2020 00:27

My money would be on (a) depression, (b) exhaustion or (c) both of the above.

Opentooffers · 10/08/2020 00:36

My guess would be on binge-watching the series overnight, so sleeping during the day. If he's just getting into Line of Duty, this behaviour could continue for a while yet. The going mad at you for changing to the news, shows how people can get addicted and binge on entire seasons in one go.

AfterSchoolWorry · 10/08/2020 00:37

He's just looking for attention.

j712adrian · 10/08/2020 00:47

The 4am working is puzzling.

Is his work or business in trouble? If it’s out of character......

Ask.

Osteopernum · 10/08/2020 02:32

I have opened his door again just a minute ago and he was still in bed sleeping. I spoke and he answered to confirm he is alive. It's all bizarre and I am having a job not to just be mad.
I suppose it could be depression. We are self employed and half of our usual work has disappeared due to the pandemic. The future is uncertain at the moment, similar to many people in these current times.
If it is depression, I need to realign my brain to sympathetic thoughts.

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 10/08/2020 02:39

Nasty case of twatitis.

sweetieno · 10/08/2020 02:47

He's sulking, and probably waiting for you to pander to his bullshit.

Sally2791 · 10/08/2020 05:02

I agree with Aquamarine. He could have just said excuse me I’m still watching something! Not acceptable behaviour.

MashedSpud · 10/08/2020 05:50

Was he up working or chatting to women online? His reaction seems like a way to have an excuse to be away from you.

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DianaT1969 · 10/08/2020 05:55

He may have gone down to watch his series overnight or streamed it in his bedroom on his iPad or laptop. Not the point of the thread, but I'm surprised he hasn't got a TV in his bedroom.

AllyBamma · 10/08/2020 06:11

So you’re married to a teenager in a middle aged mans body then? Tell him to sort out his issues and stop taking them out on you and to stop behaving like a spoiled brat.

Osteopernum · 10/08/2020 06:21

Funnily enough, on the day it happened, I got a notification from Amazon that a TV had been ordered which no doubt is for his room. It's coming today.
He has just crept into my room and got his work laptop. I pretended to be asleep of course.

OP posts:

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